Be Still a Minute...

A Few Things I'm Loving Right Now...

2012-02-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

This Wonder Woman mug I scored at TJMaxx a few weeks ago. I'm so not a morning person but I can't help but smile (at least on the inside) when I stumble into the kitchen at dark thirty in the mornings and see it waiting for me.

The Clarisonic Mia facial brush. I kept hearing all these great things about it so I finally bought myself one about a month ago and love it! It leaves my skin feeling so soft and smooth, almost like I've just had a facial.

The Fifty Shades Trilogy by E L James that I'm currently reading on my Kindle. I finished the first one, Fifty Shades of Grey, on Saturday and am already over halfway through the second one, Fifty Shades Darker. Very intriguing. It reminds me of Twilight, only it's the adult version...minus the vampires and werewolves.

Revenge on ABC. I really did not expect to like this show starring Emily VanCamp from Brothers and Sisters, one of my favorite shows that I was upset to see cancelled last year, but I was immediately sucked in and addicted after watching the very first episode.

Zone Perfect chocolate peanut butter bars. I discovered these a couple of years ago but have been eating a lot more of them lately, since becoming a vegetarian. They are one of the best tasting nutrition bars I've found and are high in protein.

Black bean burgers. I had never even tried one before starting this vegetarian thing and was really surprised at how tasty they are. I've made them twice already. The first time I strictly followed this recipe but when I made them last week, I looked at a few different ones and just kinda winged it. The most amazing thing is, the boys like them!

Kerastase Leave-in Treatment by L'Oreal for controlling "dry and rebellious hair". I definitely have some rebellious hair and this stuff works wonders for controlling its frizz and volume.

These hilarious e-cards people make and pin on Pinterest because I swear, it's like they were in my head when they made them...

If You Give a Mom a Break...

2012-02-09T11:43:00.001-05:00

If you give a mom a break, chances are she's going to want a Diet Coke.

When she walks into the kitchen to get herself one, she will notice that someone has left the milk out.

She will yell, "WHO LEFT THE MILK OUT?!" but of course she will get no answer and will put the milk back in the refrigerator.

When she opens the refrigerator, a bottle of red Gatorade that was crammed inside with the lid half off will come tumbling out and spilling all over the kitchen floor.

She will mutter some words under her breath that would make a sailor blush as she cleans up the sticky Gatorade off her just recently cleaned kitchen floor.

While she is down there cussing and cleaning the floor, one of the wiener dogs will scratch on the door wanting back in the house.

When she goes to let him in, she sees that he has been digging AGAIN so she will take him to the boys' bathroom to give him his 15th bath for the week.

After she bathes him, she will gather up the mountain of towels on the bathroom floor to put them in the washing machine.

She will find the washing machine full of clothes that need to be put into the dryer that she discovers is also full of clothes that need to be folded which will cause her to use all the bad words she knows, plus some she made up.

As she is sitting on the floor in front of the dryer folding the clothes that were in there, the wet wiener dog will jump up on her to apologize for his bad behavior by licking her in the face.

The funk of his breath will nearly make her pass out so she will get up to go into the kitchen cabinet where she keeps the dog stuff in order to get him a Greenie to freshen his stanky breath.

When she gets into the kitchen, she remembers that she was going to have a Diet Coke.

Just as she is pouring her Diet Coke (the last one in the house) into a cup of ice, her 8 year old will burst through the door screaming, whining, and claiming that his brother beat him up on the trampoline with her 12 year old right behind him denying any such claim.

She will be forced to play referee for the 859th time this week while trying her best not to use any more of the four letter words.

As she is giving them the third degree, complete with jerky hand movements, she accidentally knocks her Diet Coke off the counter...

And chances are pretty good that while she's cleaning it up? She's going to be reminded that she could really use a break!

*This post inspired by the Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losin It.

Digesting Frogs...

2012-02-07T10:11:00.000-05:00

It's never a good feeling when your phone rings in the middle of pilates class and you look over to see that it's the school calling. I immediately picked it up and bolted out of the room, only to have the call disconnected. I called right back to be put on hold for what seemed like forever before the teacher finally picked up the phone.

She said it was Dracen who had called. He wanted to remind me that he wanted to stay after school to dissect frogs which I had indeed forgotten all about. It was a "reward" for those students who attended the Science Academy whether or not they actually completed a project or not.

Dracen did not because I'm not one of those parents who goes all gung ho crazy over completing an optional science project for my third grader and seeing as how Dracen is a free spirit who most of the time (as Charlie would say) doesn't care which way the wind blows, it just never happened. His intentions were good though and had it not been optional I would have been on him like white on rice to get it done but I have enough battles to fight around here as it is and I really just didn't have the energy to take on one for extra credit.

I told her that was fine and went on back in to class to discover that I had missed the entire much-needed backside toning series and when I got home there was a message from Dracen on the machine (because he'd called the house first) telling me that he would be staying after school to "digest" frogs.

And when I picked him up at 3:30, he went on and on about how cool it was and informed me, very proud-like, that he "accidentally" cut the frog's leg off. Ugh. I can still recall the smell of the frogs, fetal pigs, earth worms and various other preserved creatures I had to dissect in high school and college and I can assure you, I never once thought of any of it as a reward.

The first one was a frog in 10th grade Biology class and I will never forget, as I told Dracen yesterday, the orange/yellowish stuff inside that frog that the teacher said was fat tissue and that reminded me of my all-time favorite food, Kraft macaroni and cheese, and how, for the longest time, I could not eat it without thinking about frog guts.

He did not understand in the least how I could be grossed out by something so utterly fascinating and when Charlie got home from work he started in about the frogs again, announcing that he had digested one today and wanted to know if Charlie had ever had the privilege of digesting one himself which turned the conversation to digesting, as in really digesting, frog legs.

And that's when I blacked out...

Scavenger Hunt Sunday...

2012-02-04T23:49:00.004-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon this Scavenger Hunt meme at Ramblings and Photos by Ashley Sisk. And although I don't normally blog much on the weekends, this one just looked like too much fun to pass up!

Strike a Pose

This photo of Miss Charlene taken in the sunroom back in November was the only one I did not take within the last week.

Footwear

These brightly donned feet on the edge of the creek bank belong to Dracen. I took this last Sunday at his Momaw and Popaw's.

Hobby

I spent my rainy Saturday breathing life back into two old nightstands with my very favorite, Annie Sloan Chalk Paint. That stuff is a miracle worker.

Shiny

This is a silver bangle bracelet Charlie gave me for Christmas in a milk glass dish I recently bought at an antique store.

Color Me Green

This is just simply a close up of a piece of something in a potpourri mixture in the sunroom. It appears to be some sort of dyed nutshell... I just thought it was cool and also green!

Happy Sunday!

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh to Keep From Cryin'...

2012-02-03T13:03:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was just one of those days. You know the kind I'm talking about... Nothing tragic or life threatening...just one of those parenting days where you feel mentally exhausted and drained to the point of locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes in order to have yourself a good old fashioned pity party in God's honor.

You ever have a day like that?

Well, I have them from time to time and yesterday was one of them. But instead of going on and on about it here today, I've decided to talk about some of the little things that made me smile or laugh this week...

1. Yesterday when Dracen and I were pulling into the garage after I picked him up at school, he announced to me that he has decided for sure what he wants to do for his ninth birthday this July. And I had to ask him to clarify three times because I could have sworn he was saying he wanted to go to the Y (as in the YMCA) and I could not, for the life of me, figure out why.

But no, that was not at all what he said. He said, after I asked him the third time, "I want to go to Ha-Wa-ii!" And y'all? He was dead serious. I laughed (which he did not appreciate) and told him that yes, I would like that too, very much, but that he would have to aim a little bit lower this year.

2. We are living in the small town that Darin grew up in and lived in all of his life. A town where pretty much everybody knows your business...even the people you don't personally know because well, most of them, and their parents, and their parents' parents have lived here for forever and ever, amen.

Anyway, I thought I had heard all of Darin's stories (and he had quite a few) but Charlie heard one from one of Darin's friends that he grew up with, whom we also go to church with, when he went over to help him with his heat pump the other day and he was still laughing so hard just thinking about it that he had a hard time getting the words out.

I knew that Darin had lost his license (as in had them suspended) once for a little while when he was in high school and I remember him telling me about how he had to paint the fire station that year as part of his punishment/community service but somehow, I never heard this part of the story...

Apparently a few of them (Darin's friends/fellow students) were standing around outside the school on this particular chilly morning when they heard this really loud sound coming up the street and turned to see Darin pulling in the school parking lot on a riding lawn mower while wearing an aviator hat, complete with the loose flaps flying in the wind. And he pulled up right into a parking spot with no shame whatsoever in his game.

All I could think to say was, "I told you Dracen gets it honest!"

3. When these pillows that I ordered from Joss & Main arrived, I was so excited that I actually produced an eeee! as I tore open the box. To know me is to know that I do not typically say eeee or anything remotely like it but it's not every day that you find yourself such a grand treasure as not one, but two wiener dog pillows!

4. Things that made me laugh on Pinterest...

Ain't that the truth!

I'll never do it wrong again!

Amen, sister!

I can relate!

5. And ones that made me smile...

Thank God, It is Friday...

Captured: When A Photo Gets It Right...

2012-02-02T09:50:00.002-05:00

As one of Mama Kat's writing prompts this week, she asked us to share a photo of ourselves that we think really captures who we are. I thought long and hard about it and went back and forth between the other prompts, flipped through my photos from the last few years, went back to the other prompts again and finally decided on this photo taken by my good friend Michele on my and Charlie's wedding day in 2008...

I had already changed out of my wedding dress and we were getting ready to leave the church for our honeymoon and would be gone for eight nights.

Dracen was four, almost five, at the time and while I can't remember exactly what we were talking about here, I'm sure it had to do with how long I'd be gone, what day I'd be back and what I was going to bring him upon my return.

I'm pretty sure I did not know this photo was being taken and I suppose this is the reason I believe it captures my soul so well. Aside from the fancy jewelry and the curls and birdseed in my hair, this look on my face and subtle concern in my eyes as I reassure my child is, well...it's me. In a nutshell.

I know I was excited...about finally getting the chance to relax with my new husband in the tropics for a full week, about this new beginning...this second leap of faith and reopening of my mended heart that had been shattered by grief less than five years earlier...

But I was also a little concerned and worried (as always)about leaving my babies behind for over a week although I knew they'd be in the excellent care and hands of grandparents who loved them fiercely.

I can see clearly on my face (that probably appears calm and collected to most) that my thinking wheels inside my head were spinning out of control with thoughts and concerns that most likely never made it to my lips, must less past them.

But I also know that my heart was smiling, happy, grateful and filled with love and anticipation for the beautiful, yet to be lived life that lay ahead...

And unlike my first time as a bride, I now possessed the insight and wisdom to know that while life will not always be easy and that the road will get bumpy, and sometimes even downright treacherous at times, that it must always go on and be cherished as the imperfectly beautiful gift that it is...

With Reckless Abandon...

2012-02-01T08:44:00.000-05:00

I finally broke down and got myself a Kindle Touch a few weeks ago. I was rebellious about it for awhile because I just simply love having books around me. Sometimes the shallow side of me breaks that old rule about not judging a book by its cover and buys old books at antique shops based on good looks alone.

Because, you know? I'm reckless like that.

But I finally decided that I should just get over my rebel self, get with the times, and buy myself an e-reader, reminding myself that I can still buy books from time to time if I desire.

I have not yet regretted my decision. In fact, I think I now have myself a new addiction that goes by the name of Kindle because it is just way too easy to touch that screen ever so delicately and order myself another book. I've always been one to read one book at a time until it's finished, but now? I am currently reading five books on there and one paperback I already had.

So that's pretty much what I've been doing instead of blogging...

Except for yesterday. Yesterday I had a dermatologist appointment and then went to Target and loaded my cart with everything from a five dollar clearance pair of fuzzy slippers to a 24 pack of fruit snacks. I think it's a really great thing that the nearest Target is a good 25 minutes from my house because what is it about that place that makes me want to buy sh*t with reckless abandon?

The dermatologist appointment was just an annual check for spots thing that I've had to do since discovering that basal cell carcinoma on my chest in '09 that was so kind to leave me a little white scar to remember it by. Wear your sunscreen, kids, and don't bake yourself in baby oil or Crisco...Yes, I was once an idiot but I think most all of us were when it came to the sun back then.

I knew I didn't have any new spots because the anal side of me is diligent about checking myself for them now but I like to be reassured that the flat brown mole on my leg that has been there forever and ever is still the same ole harmless mole it always was. And plus, she gives me drugs. For fever blisters. I call them magic pills. I start feeling that dreaded tingle on my lip, pop that pill, and watch that mother disappear before it ever gets a chance to turn me into an ogre with its own phone number and zip code right there on my top lip.

The worst part about the visit is sitting there in nothing but my underwear and giant paper napkin and then rolling around on that exam table in those godforsaken fluorescent lights, exposing every ounce of cellulite on my bare arse. Not my idea of a good time.

But speaking of a good time, Dracen had him one Sunday afternoon down by the creek. I'm not sure where winter went but it sure has been layin' low around here...

Happy Hump Day!

Friday Fragments...

2012-01-27T05:35:00.032-05:00

~When I was tucking him in Wednesday night, Dracen proclaimed... (as he sighed dramatically) "I'm exaggerated!"

"You're what?" I asked.

(as he sighed again and fought back a grin while placing his hand to his forehead in swooning fashion) "I'm EXAGGERATED and I'm imagining things."

"Dracen, I think the word you are looking for is exhausted.".

***

~Devin wanted to fix a frozen pizza the other day so I told him to turn the oven on to 400 degrees. Our stove is gas and is on the other side of the kitchen from the oven so I was perplexed to see him go over to the stove in order to turn it on.

I swear I think he does stuff like that in order to get out of me asking him to do anything at all productive. In the end, his excuse was that he just simply had a brain fart.

***

~The guinea pigs, Junebug and Maxie, got a new crib this week because I condemned the old one. It came via UPS Tuesday afternoon and I was really dreading getting it out and putting it together because it's kinda big and just like the old one that I put together so I knew it was a bit of a pain.

To my gracious surprise, Dracen took it upon himself to get it out of the box and put it together himself. I think I am now beginning to reap some of the benefits of having a spirited, energetic child. Though he did leave the kitchen upside down, sticky and covered in fruit after making himself a smoothie yesterday afternoon. I'm going to have to take the curtains down and wash them. Seriously.

***

~Schools were out here Monday and Tuesday for teacher workdays and come Monday afternoon I was just about at my wit's end with the fighting and arguing. We were planning to go out to eat at Red Lobster when Charlie got home and I was already dressed and wearing my black boots.

Devin had locked himself in the bathroom to escape the retaliation Dracen was about to throw on him and Dracen was beating on the door. I got so mad that I kicked (yes, kicked!) the bathroom door with my black boots. (I blame PMS)

I immediately felt like a fool so I gained control of myself and promptly began spraying and wiping the marks off. Thank God there was no permanent damage.

***

~As we were driving down the street the other day Dracen saw a man walking and said, "I think that man may be a hobo." And then, "You know how people have jobs and then they have the things they like to do on the side? Well, when I grow up, my thing on the side is going to be helping homeless people find homes."

And my heart grew three sizes that day.

***

~Report cards came home for both boys yesterday. Dracen made A Honor Roll. His brother made all sorts of grades. And I'll just leave it at that. But I will say this...I did not yell. Also, I found this article most helpful.

***

~Charlie's mom sent him this joke the other day and warned him not to try it at home. I would advise the same. To him and to every other man in the free world...

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House"...

Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife,

"From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law.' You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want! Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music, wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension so that I can sleep like a baby. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess...

Unless I have your ass cremated."

Happy Friday, Y'all!

*You can see more Friday Fragments or link up your own at Half-Past Kissin' Time!

The Ones That Got Retold...

2012-01-26T06:25:00.003-05:00

*Written in response to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt...

You know the stories that are retold a million times at family gatherings? I call them Life Stories that you just never live down. List your Top 10 Life Stories.

Okay, Here Goes...

1. When I was five years old my dad met Lynne, the lady who would become his second wife and like a second mother to me. She had a daughter two years younger than myself. She was not shy. I was. Extremely. On the night we met for the first time, the four of us were in the car and she just kept chattering, chattering, chattering...on and on...When suddenly, in mid-sentence, she stopped and shouted, "Mama, Mama! Can she TALK?!" Neither of us have ever lived that down which was a little annoying when I was growing up but is now one of my favorite childhood memories.

2. I had two little identical giraffes that, looking back on, resembled squeaky toys for dogs(heck, maybe they were!) that I got at K-Mart when I was really young...probably three, I'm guessing. Only I thought they were rabbits and they felt cold to my touch so I called them "Cold Rabbits" and I did not leave the house without them. If I left them at my babysitter's house somebody was driving back across town or she was going to have the longest phone conversation of her life in order to assure me that she would put them to bed and take extra good care of them until morning.

3. I pretended my dolls were real babies for a long time...way after I was old enough to know better. I wrote a post about Shelia Claudia once I know but she was my favorite. I still have her. Anyway, I once pulled the Christmas tree over on my little brother and Shelia but all I could say was,"SHELIA! SHELIA! OMG, GET SHELIA! SHE'S UNDER THE TREE!" Yeah, that one did not go over well and was brought up for a long time. I think my dad wanted to wring my neck and burn Shelia at the stake.

4. I was born disorganized and my room was almost always a disaster area. One Spring it started stinking something horribly awful and we could NOT find where the funk was coming from. Eventually, we did. It was rotten Easter eggs still in my basket in my closet. From Easter. That had long since come and gone.

5. After waiting in a really, really long line for a really, really long time to get an immunization I needed to start school, I bolted. My mother chased me all the way down the hallway and to the Exit door that I was about to bust down before she caught me and dragged my little butt back in there to get my shot as all the other well-behaved children who were lined up neatly in single file fashion looked on in horror.

6. I got a note sent home for unruly conduct by the band teacher in middle school. My mother didn't know whether to punish me or to just simply be relieved that I'd finally come out of my shell.

7. There are very few professional photos of my baby and toddler years because I was appalled by photographers and even got so upset once that I threw up all over one. Or so I've heard it told. A few times.

8. I was notorious for getting sick on or just before a big vacation. I was running a fever and throwing back shots of cold and cough medicine that I had stashed in my fanny pack, along with my Kleenexes, at Disney World in 1995. In the hottest part of summer.

9. To say that I overreacted and over-dramatized any situation that involved me getting hurt in any way, shape, form or fashion would be an understatement of ginormous proportions. And I know I've told this story once on this blog before but the best example and the one I never did live down happened at my Dad's and Lynne's house...

We were outside playing when I hurt my foot somehow. I can't even remember how now but I was all kinds of hysterical. I was carrying on in a big way... screaming, squealing, yelling, moaning, crying out in agonizing oh- my-sweet-Jesus-I'm-dying pain.

Lynne had not yet experienced the magnitude of my drama so she came out of the house fully expecting to see a severed limb or a gouged out eyeball when I, through sulks, sobs and tears said, "My-f-f-f-foot! I-hurt-my-f-f-f-foot and it's b-b-b-bleeeeding!" as I thrust my foot into the air to show off my injuries. Only to realize that I.had.the.wrong.dang.foot.

Oops. My bad.

So I paused, took a breath, and said, "It's the OTHER one! It's the OTHER one!" as I thrust the real hurt foot into the air and continued on with my performance.

10. Okay, I can't even believe I'm about to tell y'all this one but it too was frequently brought up throughout the years and also when I was spending weekends with my Dad and Lynne...

I had some really smelly gas and had been dropping silent bombs in the car that were so bad everyone was cracking their windows and doing the whole gagging with their tongues out routine when I inhaled deeply, got a devilish grin on my face, and without even thinking, shouted out,"I LIKE TO SMELL MY OWN FARTS!"

Wordless Wednesday...Nice Wheels!

2012-01-25T00:09:00.000-05:00

My Mom...

The bicycle has done more for the emancipation of women than anything else in the world. ~ Susan B. Anthony

There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again. ~Elizabeth Lawrence

My Dad...

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. ~Dr. Seuss

My Boys and Me...

Babies are such a nice way to start people. ~Don Herrold

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. ~Rabindranath Tagore

The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.
~Christopher Morley

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. ~William Stafford

Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. ~Jerry Seinfeld

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely. ~Thomas P. Murphy

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. ~Alfred Adler

Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons. ~Author Unknown

When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. ~H.G. Wells

Ten Things That Give Me Anxiety...

2012-01-23T11:13:00.002-05:00

Today I'm joining in for the first time for Monday Listicles with Northwest Mommy. I just could not resist the opportunity to list 10 things that give me anxiety...

1. Report card day. And it is coming up very soon since today and tomorrow are teacher workdays here. They are being prepared as I type. It gives me more anxiety now than it did when I was receiving them myself (with the exception of 10th grade when I was flunking Algebra). Lecturing/punishing/talking to a twelve year old for or about anything leaves me feeling the urge to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb.

2. Dental appointments. Just typing that brought a feeling of nausea over me. And my next one is coming up next month.

3. Fighting/Bickering/Arguing/Shouting. I do not deal well with conflict or turmoil of any kind and my boys are at each other's throats more often than not. And no, I'm not on medication. I just pray and blog. A lot.

4. Those animal abuse commercials. Specifically the one with Sarah McLachlan. Talk about ruining an otherwise perfectly fine day. Animal abuse makes me want to go all ape sh*t on somebody's arse.

5. Trying on jeans or swimsuits. Swimsuits for obvious reasons and jeans because it is next to impossible to find a pair to fit my body. I'm not lacking any junk in the trunk so finding a pair to fit that without having the gap at the lower back big enough to hold a watermelon is no small feat and leaves me feeling lightheaded and a little like I've just run a marathon. Not that I would really know that though because I do not run. Unless I'm chasing Brisco the bolting wiener dog. Which brings me to number six...

6. Bolting wiener dogs. We adopted Brisco (Big Boy) and Charlene (Li'l Bit) in 2009. The fosters warned us that Brisco is a "bolter". Come again? I had had fourteen years experience with Dachshunds at the time but had never heard of one doing this.

They did not exaggerate. He is a bolter and will seize any opportunity he gets in order to buzz past you and out of the open door that does not lead into the fence and hightail it to the woods at the speed of light. I have chased him through a creek, down a steep hill, through briers, woods and backyards more times than I care to remember. So has every other member of this household.

When the doorbell rings, we all immediately look around for Brisco the Bolter and secure him before opening the door. Fool me eleven times, shame on you! Fool me twelve, shame on me!

7. Grocery shopping. I'm not sure what it is exactly that I hate so much about this task but I loathe it and will put it off for as long as I possibly can.

8. Being asked to serve on a committee. This is extremely awkward for me because it's not that I don't care about the cause or that I'm unwilling to help out... I just don't do committees.

9. Hearing "Momm! The toilet is stopped up!" Yeah, I don't think this one needs an explanation.

10. Worrying about the well-being of my boys and other loved ones. I don't think I'm ever completely without worry. It's like I somehow believe that if I don't acknowledge something as a possibility and place it in my worry box, then it has a greater chance of happening. I know it's completely irrational and unhealthy but as much as I pray about it and blog about it, I just can't seem to let go of the worry.

But I'm working on it...

Squirrel Appreciation Day?

2012-01-21T17:02:00.000-05:00

I had no idea today was Squirrel Appreciation Day until I saw a post from Animal Planet on facebook this morning. I didn't even know there was a such thing as Squirrel Appreciation Day and I'm guessing none of y'all did either.

Well, according to Animal Planet there is and it is today, January 21st, and it was started by a wildlife rehabilitator from Asheville, North Carolina (which is just about an hour and a half drive from me) in 2001.

You learn something new every day!

Anyway, since it is indeed the day to honor these cute little tree rats (and also because this was a good excuse for me to take another break from cleaning house), I'm sharing my most recent photo of the Darlings ''appreciating" the one who feasts daily on the berries of the holly tree beside my bedroom window...

Happy Squirrel Day! ;)

A Grief Revisited...The Five Stages

2012-01-20T07:50:00.000-05:00

In my last grief post I talked about how surreal my life had become. Today I'm going to talk about my experience with the Five Stages of Grief that Elisabeth Kubler Ross first introduced in her book, On Death and Dying, in 1969, two years before I was even born. I recalled studying about them in school but I was amazed to discover just how right on they really were...

These stages did not necessarily happen in order for me as I am sure they don't for most people. The first one I recall experiencing was Bargaining... I think I knew he was gone before I ever even knew he was gone, if that makes any sense. I felt it in my bones and in my soul before I ever got out of the house.

I remember trying to bargain with God though. I begged him not to let this happen... promising, vowing to be a better wife, a better person, a better Christian, if he'd just let him live. As if this was somehow my fault...like I was being punished for my imperfections. I realize now how irrational and self-centered this belief was but when you're in the midst of something so monumentally tragic, your thoughts are anything but rational.

I think I experienced a little Anger pretty early on, before we had even left the hospital, but what I was mostly feeling then was shock. I remember the Denial clearly because once the finality of it sunk in for me, I was mortified by some words of denial I spoke to Devin a few days after his death. But I know I fully believed them at the time which is so bizarre to look back on because I've always considered myself a person with a pretty good understanding and grasp of reality.

I don't remember the date exactly but I know it was probably within just a few days after the funeral. Devin was only four so I can only imagine how he was processing this in his mind since I was finding it so difficult to comprehend myself. We were in the living room, just the two of us, and he was lying on the couch when he said, very matter of fact-like, "My daddy has been gone for a long time now. When is he coming back?"

And I spent a lot of time later on beating myself up for this but God help me, I was in such a shattered state at the time that I actually thought it was possible. I said, "He's in heaven now, remember? But maybe God will let him come visit us sometimes...like as an angel." And I believed that somehow. I really did.

Grief does some crazy things to us.

The Anger and the Depression seemed to come and go as they pleased. One minute I'd be pissed at Darin for allowing such a thing to happen to himself and leaving me with so much responsibility and two boys without a father. The next minute I was shouting at God for allowing this to happen. I wanted to know where his guardian angel was that day! I wanted to know WHY? Why me? Why him? Why us?

If I wasn't angry, I was depressed. I hated sunny days because the sun and singing birds seemed to be mocking me. I wanted them to be depressed too. Misery often does love company.

Yeah, the anger and the depression took turns for quite awhile. I sometimes felt like I had more personalities than Sybil, never knowing which emotion I was going to be hit with when I got out of bed each day.

Finally there is Acceptance. It, however, was not the final stage. It wasn't as if I woke up one day and said, "Okay, this is it. He's not coming back so I'm going to stop grieving and get on with my life now." Grief is nowhere near that simple.

Looking back, I'm going to say I probably entered the full on acceptance stage sometime just after the one year mark. It was like a turning point for me. I had survived all the firsts. And for me, that was huge. I knew that everything was going to be okay from there on out...Not perfect... (I mean whose life ever really is?)...But okay.

I felt like a true survivor for the first time in my life and I was ready to start rebuilding...

What I've Learned From Extroverts...

2012-01-19T08:55:00.003-05:00

I am an introvert. No two ways about it. I think many of the kids in my elementary and middle school probably suspected something was seriously wrong with me because I rarely spoke to anyone. And if they didn't think something was wrong with me? They thought I was a complete and total snob who thought she was too good for them all.

Of course neither of those things were true. Social situations were just extremely difficult for me.

And while I have improved my social skills greatly over the years, I'm still the same ole introvert I always was. But because I find it hurtful when I hear that someone concluded that I simply did not like him or her (thanks to the extroverts in my life telling me so) I have learned to make more of an effort to appear a little less aloof.

And that's not the only lesson I've learned from the extroverted people I have known and loved over the years.

Here are just a few more that come to mind...

~Other people, even the ones you are closest to, really cannot read your mind. I seriously think I forget this from time to time. An introvert internalizes everything. Our wheels are constantly turning within even when we may appear to be in a complete state of rest on the outside. So I now try to make more of an effort to actually speak or write some of my emotions, wants, and needs rather than keeping them locked up tight in that little box in my head.

~Paying someone a compliment can often turn their day around. (Just do it.)
I know this because I have been on the receiving end of such compliments. I don't think I ever realized though that while I often thought of them myself, I rarely spoke them.

Charlie (one of the most extroverted people I've ever met) helped me see this a few years ago... He was wearing a light turquoise-colored polo and I said, "You look really good in that color. That's your color." A huge grin came across his face and he said, "Thank You! You don't give compliments very often." My reply was, "I don't? Well...I think them."

So now I try to remember to actually pay the compliment forward rather than keeping it to myself.

~Someone not remembering your birthday or another significant date/detail does not mean they don't love you. I think this was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. We introverts think, observe and listen much more than we speak which makes it easier for us to remember such things. I rarely ever forget someone's birthday. Ever. Once I file something like that away internally, it is always there.

Most extroverts are not like this. I am aware now that this is a gift and that I should not take it personally when someone else doesn't remember every single detail about me and about our past together. They are just wired differently, that's all.

~Go ahead and point out the obvious because chances are pretty good that it may not be as obvious as you think. Again, introverts internalize things and we listen to and observe our surroundings A LOT because we aren't busying ourselves with chatter. So what may seem obvious to us may go completely unnoticed by everyone else.

I can't tell you how many times I've kept quiet about something important simply because I thought it was obvious to all, only to find out later (from an extrovert) that I was the only one who noticed.

~People are not nearly as focused on you as you are. So lighten up.
I think that we [introverts] spend so much time within ourselves that we sometimes assume that the rest of the world is just as focused on us which leads to more social awkwardness and anxiety.

They are not.

And the extroverts in my life have taught me this. Chances are pretty good that nobody else is noticing that tiny zit beside your nose, that little scuff you just got on the front of your boot, or that your black t-shirt is a shade off from your black yoga pants (something you did not yourself notice until you got out into a brighter light and are now freaking out inside about.)

So now when I feel myself having an inner panic attack over something so insignificant and trivial, I remind myself of what my beloved extroverts would do...

And I just roll with it...

Shrug it off, carry on, and roll with it.

And maybe even laugh at myself a little in the process.

**This post is part of the Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losin' It.

The closet gets cleaned and SpongeBob gets dissed.

2012-01-17T09:50:00.000-05:00

I am happy to come here today and report that my closet is no longer hazardous to my physical well-being because the pics I posted of it here yesterday succeeded at shaming me into straightening it back up...again. And I am quite positive that I would not have carried it out had it not been for that.
Because I was so not feeling it.

It was not, however, as bad as it looked or that I had originally thought because the complete organizational job I did in there back in September was still partially there. I just had to uncover it.

See?

I should probably think about maybe getting around to taking that trash bag full of clothes that is sitting just outside it in the bathroom to the Salvation Army sometime soon though because it has been there since September. Also, I could probably stand to bag up a few more things because who needs a hundred and ninety two t-shirts? I have no idea why it is so difficult for me to do things like that but it always has been.

Procrastination is my middle name.

In other news, Brisco Darling will go in dark and early in the morning for his teeth cleaning. Why in the h.e. double hockey sticks it is necessary for him to be there before the roosters crow is beyond me but it seems that is always the case even with any type of human surgery.

Not that this is surgery but dogs do have to undergo anesthesia in order to have their teeth cleaned which is why it costs about triple the amount of having my own teeth cleaned. And also leaves me in a state of worry until I can go and pick him up because Worry is my other middle name. I have a few.

I'm trying to get Li'l Bit out of having hers cleaned this time. Hers aren't nearly as bad as his and the dog doc suggested I try an oscillating toothbrush, telling me that dogs seem to do better with those than with the back and forth brushing of a regular toothbrush.

Although I strongly suspected this would not be the case, Dracen and I bought them both battery operated SpongeBob (because the kiddie ones looked to be the only ones that would fit in their mouths) toothbrushes at the grocery store yesterday and let's just say that she did not take to it the way I had hoped. I only wish I had a video of it because the look she gave me just before she began thrashing her head from side to side in an effort to escape was all kinds of priceless.

Maybe I should've gone with Spiderman. Dracen was worried that "they" (I guess the cashier, bagger and other Food Lion shoppers) would think that the SpongeBob toothbrushes were for him. Possessing a toothbrush shaped like a talking sponge nerd apparently becomes uncool around the age of eight and a half.

And now that I've seen it in writing?

I think that may just be a good thing.

So much for pajama day!

2012-01-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

I just woke up fifteen minutes ago, at 9:52 a.m. And I think I only woke up then because Brisco Darling walked into the room and gave me a glare that said, "WTH? Don't you think it's high time you got your lazy arse up outta that bed and let me outside, already?!"

The boys are still sleeping and I know I should wake them up so that they can go to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight but waking them will increase their time together which will also increase the amount of bickering I will have to endure today. So I've decided to sit here and drink my coffee in peace and let nature takes its course. At least until 11:00. I will be forced to take action if they are asleep past eleven.

My dreams of staying in my pajamas all day today have been crushed, however, since I never made it to the grocery store over the weekend. I'm not exactly sure what it is that makes me loathe grocery shopping so much but I rank it right up there with housework and organizing things.

I still haven't figured out how I landed this gig as a stay home mom yet because my housekeeping skills are mediocre at best. I'd much rather decorate or paint the house than to clean or organize it. Just as I'd much rather make new outfits out of my clothing items than to hang, fold and color coordinate them all neatly in stacks and rows. And don't even ask me about the state of my kitchen cabinets or refrigerator.

There are those among us who were blessed with the gift of organization and good housekeeping skills. I am not one of them. And I accepted this fact long, long ago.

I try. Really, I do. I can't tell you how many times I've organized something like my closet. I spent hours one Saturday back in September re-organizing it once again and was pretty successful at keeping it that way for awhile. I have the pictures to prove it...See?

And this is what it looks like today ...

I'm not sure why I just showed y'all that hot mess that can only be blamed on me and me alone since I'm the only one who goes into that closet. I think I'm hoping it will ~~motivate~~ guilt me into doing something about it.

So now it's eleven o'clock (the time I said I'd wake up the brothers), I'm still in my pajamas, and I have vowed to get groceries and organize my hot mess of a closet.

If this ~~motivational~~ guilt trip thing works I'll be posting after pics tomorrow. If not, then I'll try to come up with a good excuse...

Happy Monday!

A Grief Revisited...Defining Surrealism

2012-01-14T12:09:00.001-05:00

I started this blog in an effort to share my experience with grief...hoping, praying, that someone, somewhere, would read my words...my story... and find some form of comfort and hope in them. This blog quickly and unexpectedly evolved into so much more than that and I can't imagine ever falling out of love with this thing called blogging. But...I continually hear a knocking at my soul that I think is telling me to revisit and share my grief story from time to time so that is what I'm doing. I don't know how often I will do it just yet but my plan is to share a little more of my story each time because it is my belief that every battle we are forced to fight...every storm life casts upon us, is not only meant to strengthen and grow our own spirits, but those of others as well. So here I begin...

Before losing Darin I really had no clue what grief entailed. My heart always ached and went out to those who had experienced such a great loss. I would say a quick pray for them, send them a card if I kind of knew them, and always shake my head and think or sometimes even say aloud, "I can't even imagine."

And I couldn't. No one can. Until it happens...

It's like you're going along fine in the world, completely unaware of how fleeting life is, and then BAM!, out of nowhere this thundering beast you never saw coming hits you so hard it knocks the wind out of you and leaves you struggling for breath and grasping for something...anything...to hold onto.

In an instant everything in and around you changes. The air even seems different.

I remember not being able to cry. I so much wanted to cry, as if that would somehow heal me and take away the sick, empty hole that had suddenly taken up residence in the center of my being. The tears did eventually come of course. They came so much and so often that I wondered why I ever wished for them in the first place.

I just wanted to feel normal again but I knew that I never really would. At least not the normal I had always known.

There were many mornings I would awake fully believing it had all been some horrible, awful dream but when I sat up to tell Darin all about it, I was hit with that cold, ruthless monster of grief and sick, raw emotion yet again. I can't recall now how long that went on but that was just one of the many hard truths I was learning about grief.

There would be good (or at least okay) days...days when I would notice things that I had never picked up on before grief entered my world. Like those redbirds that suddenly began appearing in the trees in the front yard, or that penny on the floor that I'd swear wasn't there just a second ago, or the way the clouds, the trees, and the flowers seemed to be talking just to me.

Surreal. This was the definition of it. I finally understood what that word really meant for the first time because I was living it every day.

Where had my real life gone?

Because this one I was being forced to live surely could not be mine...

Friday Fragments...

2012-01-13T08:58:00.005-05:00

~I don't know why but I have taken up watching The Bachelor this season. I'm off and on with that show. Sometimes I can't stomach it at all but I have been sucked into the crazy this season. I'm not sure what kind of screening they do when choosing these women but I swear I think they purposely pick a few who are clearly clinging to their sanity by their pinkie toes in order to guarantee a good hearty dose of drama queen.

~I bought some Boca meatless ~~chicken~~ chicken-like patties last week. I cooked a couple of them up the other night and slapped them on some whole wheat buns with a little mustard and mayonnaise. Devin actually argued with me by saying, "There is no way this is NOT chicken!" This vegetarian thing is going along better than I had ever imagined and I honestly do not miss meat at all.

~This cute little creeper has been hanging out in the holly tree beside my bedroom window. I took this through the glass...

~I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I saw this on Pinterest last week. I cannot tell you how many times I have come home to this exact look!

~Someone is coming to measure the bonus room/bedroom upstairs this morning for new carpet. I finished painting up there a couple of weeks ago. Sometime after I told the boys I was fixing that up as a family/rec room, we were all having a conversation and Devin said, "Next mom is going to make the bonus room into a pimpin pad!" (or something like that). When I was twelve "pimpin" meant something entirely different but I'm pretty sure I didn't even know the word!

~I just realized last night that Monday is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day which means it's a three day weekend and I could not be more excited about the opportunity this will give me to sleep in on a Monday morning! And I'm not ashamed to admit that I may not even get out of my pajamas.

~In case you were unaware, it's Friday the 13th! I personally think superstitions are a little weird but I believed them all when I was a kid and was always careful to not do things like open umbrellas in the house and never failed to make an X in the air if a black cat crossed my path. Now I pretend it's good luck if I see one. I guess that's weird too and I'm okay with that.

~I want this sign...

**Linking this post up with Mrs. 4444 for Friday Fragments at Half-Past Kissin' Time!

Happy Friday, Y'all!

10 Great Things About Being A Mom

2012-01-12T13:51:00.002-05:00

I spend plenty of time on this blog joking (and sometimes not so much) about the challenges and woes of raising my two "strong willed" boys so I thought I'd take this little opportunity to respond to Mama Kat's writing prompt this week and list ten things I love about being their mom...

1. The unexpected acts of kindness/affection. Devin doesn't do this quite as much anymore now that he is too cool for middle school and all, though sometimes he will allow me to hug him without resistance (occasionally even hugs back) and told me, "Thanks, Mom" when I bought him those new jeans the other day. Dracen has gone through stages but lately he's taken to opening his arms really wide for hugs, just out of the blue, and sat beside me and held my hand for a little while on the couch last night. Melts my heart every single time.

2. Their triumphs. I can say this honestly and from the bottom of my heart... Seeing one of my boys do good/achieve a goal, whether it be hitting a home run in baseball or finally grasping a complicated math problem does something for my soul that my own successes have never quite touched. There is no better feeling in this world than seeing them happy and proud of their own accomplishments.

3. They keep me young. At heart, anyway. How else would I know that saying something is "beast" or "sick" is like saying something was "totally awesome" in the 80s? Actually, I think I probably still use the word "awesome" a little too much but I have dropped the "totally". But if not for them keeping me up to date on the latest lingo, I'd probably have had someone tell me that 1986 called and wants its words back by now!

4. The things they say. Because it's true about them saying the darndest things. When they were younger, it was the cute little way they said things... I will never forget Devin (all of nine months old) saying, "Whoisdat" over and over until we finally realized he was saying, "Who is that?" when he was around someone he didn't know. Or how Dracen used to get up every single morning and say, "I awnt cancake!" Translation: "I want pancakes!"
They know how to pronounce all their words correctly these days of course but they still sometimes floor me or leave me in hysterics with some of the random things they say.

5. They make me want to leave the world a better place. I know that may sound cliche or cheesy but it's the truth and I don't know how else to put it. I didn't give half as much thought to the impact my actions have on others or to the world in general before becoming a mother. Their future depends so much on the shape we leave the world in.

6. Seeing myself in them. Devin has my eyes, my hair, my mouth and my quiet nature (for the most part) while Dracen (who mostly resembles his late father, Darin) has my arms with the extra crease at the fold just as he shares my deep love and compassion for animals.

7. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy... Devin is 12 and Dracen is 8 so I realize that these days are numbered in my house but the fun I've had with these guys as an adult is almost as magical as it was when I was a kid myself.

8. The humor. I like to think I've always had a pretty good sense of humor but I don't know how anyone can be a mother (or a father) without possessing a great one! It's true that sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying and they have definitely helped me see that.

9. The way they can turn a piece of construction paper into one of the most cherished treasures on the planet. I don't think this one needs any explanation.

10. The bond I feel toward other mothers. I always knew my mother loved me and understood the importance of having one but not until I became one myself did I fully grasp and understand the depths of the unconditional love one feels for her children. I'm simply a different...better person and I love being a member of the motherhood club.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Good Pair of Jeans!

2012-01-11T09:19:00.002-05:00

Today would have been the perfect day for sleeping in...It's dark, foggy, rainy and the forecast is calling for widespread rain with a side dish of rain. And possibly thunder. But since I could not sleep in I'm consuming coffee at record speed.

Speaking of coffee, I took the boys to the mall yesterday after school. What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment who does not learn lessons easily. Kidding. Sorta. They were actually pretty well-behaved this time so I agreed to buying them treats at the coffee shop. Apparently, they'd had this caramel frappe with whipped cream before when they went to the mall with Dave.

But there was no way, no how, on God's beautiful green earth that I was about to give either of them (especially Dracen) anything containing regular coffee at five o'clock on a school night. Okay, ever...never! The mere thought makes me shutter. Dracen was cool with that but for some reason Devin concluded that a frappe made with decaf would not suit his needs or his taste buds which made absolutely no difference to me since I'm a mama, not a people pleaser.

So Dracen got his decaf frappe while Devin chimed in at the last second (once he realized that I was not going to break) that he'd settle for a peach smoothie. Then it was on to the pretzel shop next door where Dracen tried to convince me that he'd eat a regular size cup of pretzel bites with extra nacho cheese. I had no idea what a pretzel bite even was and much less that they were sold in cups. The girl working the counter quickly educated me by telling me that a regular size was two whole pretzels and she couldn't even eat that.

He settled, once again, for a small which he did not finish. Nor did he finish his caramel, decaf frappe. Three quarters of that ended up being mine on the way home. I didn't even know I liked cold coffee but I sucked it down so fast I got a double dose of brain and throat freeze all at once. Devin saw me holding my throat and sticking my tongue out so he jerked his earphones out and told me to quick, push on the roof of my mouth with my thumb!

Did y'all know this trick? I had no clue. But somehow, it worked.

I also learned that those brightly colored Vans really do look a whole better with jeans. That was the whole reason we took this little trip. Devin announced that he finally wanted to get him some jeans. I don't think he's worn a pair in over a year. And I was all about anything that would get him out of those shorts/jogging pants and black socks.

He came home from one of his little mall trips with Dave several weeks back with a bright orange pair of Vans that he wore precisely twice but would never give me a good reason as to why he wasn't wearing them. Or even admit that he wasn't wearing them. Each time I questioned him, he'd say, "I do wear them!" with that tone that suggests I'm completely clueless and out of touch with my surroundings.

To my surprise, he actually found two pairs of jeans he liked enough to commit to, along with a...get this!...long sleeved shirt! I don't think that boy has worn a long sleeved shirt in three years. Thank you, Jesus! And American Eagle.

Dracen was beginning to feel like he wasn't getting the attention he well-deserved and that although he had a brightly colored pair of turquoise Converse on his feet, he too needed some of those Vans so we got him a bright red pair. I did not see the appeal myself but who am I to stand in the way of a young boy and his expression of self? I once wore neon green legwarmers with a hot pink neon sweatshirt, a matching Scrunchie and stirrup pants so I could not, in good conscience, criticize his choice of footwear.

But I was taken aback at the Gap when he walked out of the fitting room where he'd paired some jeans with his newly acquired kicks. I now understood what Devin meant five minutes earlier when he told me he would now be able to wear his Vans more since he had some jeans because this was a good look.

Even Devin, who never dishes out compliments and especially not to his brother, said, "You look sick!" And to those of who may not be familiar with the lingo, that is a compliment of the highest order. He went on to say, "That's the best he's ever looked!"

I may not ever get those shoes off his feet.

Beans and Wieners

2012-01-06T08:16:00.000-05:00

The wieners had checkups Wednesday and I'm thinking I may need to look into some canine health insurance because that bill was so fat I had a hard time lifting it off the counter. And both the little plaque builders need teeth cleanings again which we scheduled for next Wednesday and which will probably set me back another small fortune. Brisco Darling has put on another pound since last year which may not sound like much to me or you but it's a pretty big deal when you're only eight inches tall.

I blamed it on his fondness for dumpster diving. I came home one day last week to find that he had gotten the cabinet open and somehow managed to pull the trash can from the very back where I'd shoved it and although he did not succeed at getting it all the way out, he got it tilted enough so that he could shred the bag with his plaque builders and get his fill on garbage...again!

And since the dog doc did ask, I also told on Mr. Darling for occasionally doing his business in certain places throughout our residence although he is allowed to go out in the big backyard, fenced in just for him, anytime his little wiener heart desires and while I do believe he is the main culprit I also have my suspicions that his female sidekick may be involved in this unacceptable behavior from time to time as well.

The vet tech., who has had Dachshunds in her life before, was shaking her head like she understood and felt my pain completely. Anyone who's had any experience with a wiener dog is fully aware of the stubbornness each and every one of them possesses.

But the doc is convinced that the ol' bell trick on the door will rehabilitate them in no time flat. He suggested I hang a bell near the door they go out and ring it each time we open it for them. They will supposedly be ringing that bell themselves within a few days in order to notify us that they need to take care of some business. He has clearly never lived with a Dachshund.

But hey, I'll willing to try anything once. Okay, that's not true at all. I could make a pretty lengthy list of things I never plan to try but this? I will try. The wieners, however, may be another story entirely.

And speaking of another story... I am still getting along just fine as a vegetarian though I did buy the boys cheeseburgers at Cookout the other day. I won't force anyone into becoming a vegetarian but I am convinced that I can learn to cook some kick arse meatless dishes that will not leave them shouting, "Where's the beef?".   I have recipes and I'm not afraid to use them.

I used one of them to make some pretty tasty black bean burgers last night. Dracen came over to see them in the frying pan and said, "I thought you weren't eating that!" He totally thought it was meat so score one for the vegetarians. After I told him what it was he said, "But that's meat." Huh? "Beans are pork", he proclaimed.

"What are they teaching you kids in school these days? Beans are NOT pork! They grow outside in a garden."

"Ohhh yeah! That's right", he said, shaking his head. Somehow I'm guessing this little confusion was brought about by good ol' pork and beans though that thought didn't enter my mind until just this second.

Anyway, those porkless, meatless, bean burgers will go down as a vegetarian success story because while the boys did say that they weren't their favorite, they did like them okay. And coming from those two? That is huge.

Score two!

And somehow I have the feeling that making a tasty, meatless burger is going to prove to be a whole lot easier than training a couple of wiener dogs to ring a bell...

I'm just sayin'.

Happy Friday, Y'all!

Worst Trends of 2011

2012-01-05T09:13:00.001-05:00

Chain letter-type statuses on facebook. I love Jesus, my mama, my daddy, my husband, my kids, my dogs, my siblings, my nieces, my nephews, my friends and all the little critters of the world. Choosing not to copy and re-post a facebook status pledging my undying love for them does not take that love away nor does it prove that I am ashamed to be a Christian or a proud, red-blooded American.

Feather hair accessories. I don't know whose idea this was but it's a bad one for anyone over the age of 20. It also gives me bad flashbacks of those clip-on feathers some of us...ahem...may or may not have owned in a certain shade of lavender and worn clipped onto the back of our Jordache jeans back in the 80s.

The term "uber cool". I realize this has probably been around since before 2011 but I only recently noticed it, probably because I'm so un-uber cool and all but I cringe each and every time I see or hear it and would really just love to see it disappear quickly and silently in the night on the train it came in on.

80s themed parties and 80s-inspired fashions. This really started before 2011. I know because I wrote a post in October of 2010 entitled My name is Diane and I was an 80s fashion victim that has gotten an incredible amount of attention as of late. It was viewed more in the past three months than any other post I've ever written because there are a whole lot of people out there searching for "80s fashion trends". Why must we keep rehashing this? Most of the crap we wore in the 80s is not worth bringing back around. Plus, it just makes me feel older than dirt to hear the stuff I wore in high school being referred to as "retro".

The tall black socks with tennis shoes. I know I've expressed my disdain for this little fad here before. More than once. This too started before 2011 but I don't think my firstborn wore any other color or type of sock in the entire year of 2011 and he's still going strong with it. Black socks will always have their place in the world but it will never be together with tennis shoes and shorts!

Obsession with the royal wedding and life of William and Kate. I will never get it. They're human, just like you and me, only they happened to be born into privilege and "royalty". You'd think they descended from heaven on angels' wings the way they are idolized and it makes me a little nauseous. And I will now refrain from posting a picture of their smiling faces since I'm pretty sure we all know what they look like.

Jeggings. Okay, I will admit it. This sounded like a little piece of heaven on earth so I broke down and bought me a pair a few weeks back. Bad idea. Very bad! According to the size chart on the back I should have been on the small end of the pair I bought yet when I got home and tried on my brand new pair of jeggings, my flippin' big toe would barely fit through the teensy tiny hole that felt like a tourniquet around my ankles and calves. Just go away, jeggings. I have had it with your mocking and your false promises. Die already!

Critter hats for adults. I really don't think I need to go into why this is the absolute worst trend of the decade. If you are over the age of 10 and it is not October 31st, please do not let me catch you wearing one of these! Just say NO.

**This post inspired by the pretty much world famous writer's workshop at Mama's Losin It!

Welcome Back, Reality

2012-01-02T09:21:00.001-05:00

Hearing that alarm go off at 6:30 dark and early this morning was a shock to the system especially after being woken up by a grumpy eight year old at a quarter past one. Apparently he was hot and couldn't sleep because he'd been sleeping until at least noon every day of Christmas break (with the exception of Christmas morning when he set that alarm for 4:30a.m.).

I'm not exactly sure what it was he wanted me to do but I suggested he start with taking off his thick pajama pants and turning off some of the bright lights in his room. He didn't wake me again so I'm guessing he went on to sleep though he was an extra dose of grumpy when I woke him up at 6:45.

The Christmas tree is still up which is beginning to depress me a little so I have big plans for getting that down today. Nothing says "party's over" quite like taking down the Christmas tree and packing away the tinsel, does it? And it's like those elves on top of the entertainment center have suddenly become a whole lot less jolly and a whole lot more mocking. Kinda like cousin Eddie has overstayed his welcome again.

In other news, I have become a vegetarian. Well, technically a pesco-vegetarian or a pescatarian because I am still eating fish. This was not a New Year's Resolution because as I said the other day, I don't make those. The fact that I made this decision two days before the end of a year is strictly coincidental.

It's something I've thought about, considered, for a really long time. The handling of raw meat has always made me a bit nauseous and every time I hear anything about how the animals are treated in meat factories I get to feeling like I don't want to be associated with certain members of my own species. The recent inhumane treatment of the Butterball turkeys that was all over the news last week is what finalized my decision...Kinda like the final straw for me and my meat consumption.

I figured that if something was upsetting me so greatly, making me feel such rage inside that I should take a stand and do something about it. I know that my decision will not put an end to it but at least I won't be supporting something that goes so far against what I believe in. And now I've got that old country song in my head, You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Great.

There are certain foods I know I'm going to miss and I have not woken up one day since I made this decision without this being the first thing on my mind and wondering if this is something that I can really do...something I really want to do. I mean it's a huge commitment and change to what I've always known and done. But I am sticking to my guns and have full faith that I can do this.

I've been reading everything I can find online, have ordered two books from Amazon, Living Vegetarian for Dummies and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Becoming Vegetarian, and have pinned several vegetarian recipes I want to try and I bought a hunk of tofu at the grocery store Saturday (nevermind that I have no idea what to do with it). I've taken the plunge.

Charlie took the news quite well and said he'd try it with me since he has high cholesterol anyway. It was more than I expected from him but I am thankful for the support and the fact that he didn't look at me like I'd lost my ever lovin' mind.

The boys, on the other hand, did not taken kindly to this news. They like their meat. Devin didn't believe it as he kept saying, "nuh uh" and waiting for the punchline. Once we finally convinced him that this was no joke, he announced that he wants to move in with Momaw and Popaw, or at least just go over there every day after school and eat meat.

I have not quite decided yet how to handle the fact that they still want to eat meat since I am the one who would have to buy it and prepare it. There are a lot of details to work out here and things may be a little bumpy for awhile. But nonetheless, I'm doing this thing...

Hello. My name is Diane and I'm a pescatarian.

My Year in Photos...

2011-12-30T22:07:00.001-05:00

I don't make New Year's resolutions because it just seems like a surefire way for setting myself up for disappointment. I mean every time I say I'm going to watch what I eat I suddenly become obsessed with all things chocolate. I've found that the best way for me to drop a few pounds is to stay busy and to exercise. I managed to not gain any weight over the holidays by doing jumping jacks, push ups and dips randomly throughout the day and then going on about my business.

This thoroughly frustrates the Darling wieners since they'd prefer me to sit in one place all day long. If I'm not sitting still they are on my heels. But this all becomes a little difficult for them when I'm in the middle of a jumping jack session.

Anyway, I got off the subject totally. I was talking about New Year's resolutions and the fact that I don't make them and that therefore, this, my last post of the year 2011 will not be about all the ways I'm going to improve upon myself in the coming year. Nope. Instead I think I'll share a photo from each month of what has shaped up to be a pretty good year here in my little corner of the world...

January

Here we have Big Boy and Li'l Bit squirrel watching in the sunroom after their visit from the mobile pet groomer.

February

And here we have that squirrel I named Tuesday because it seemed to show up every Tuesday for a few weeks and terrorize the wieners on the other side of the sunroom windows.

March

The days were getting longer and warmer as the first signs of spring began popping up around the house. I love this shot of the sunbeams shining down on the daffodils and my little angel Dachshund that memorializes my little Dachsies in heaven.

April

This was a big month for us....Easter, our road trip to Virginia, baseball for the boys, and I turned the big 40! There were so many great photos from this month so I just picked one that I don't think I shared here. It was taken on Easter morning and while it is certainly not a picture perfect shot, I think the looks on the boys' faces pretty much sum up our reality and while I was frustrated that day, I'm already seeing the humor in it now!

May

I know I've shared this photo before but I just love it. It was taken at the North Carolina Wiener Roast in Jamestown. Li'l Bit was working it big time and soaking up all that attention from all those Dachshund lovers. And it also reminds me of how Charlie always says he never thought he could love a little dog so much and how he used to make fun of men who carried around little dogs. He's eatin' those words!

June

It seems I didn't take many pictures in the month of June. The one I chose here is of Dracen on award's day in his second grade classroom on the last day of school. He was highly upset that he did not get one of the awards he thought he deserved and is telling his friend all about it. We had us a good talk about humility and sportsmanship on the way home.

July

July was another busy month for us around here with our trip to the mountains over the Fourth and the boys' birthdays on the 17th and 18th. This one was taken on our hike to the top of Mount Mitchell on July 4th. My boys and my dogs... :)

August

This was another big photo month with the weekend beach trip and the trip Charlie and I took to Maine. But I chose a picture from an ordinary day. Dracen began trying on hats while wearing nothing but his blue jeans one night and asking me to take pictures of him. I just thought this one was hilarious. But I realize this may just be one of those things where you just had to be there.

September

This was taken through the glass door in the kitchen. I just looked out and saw him sitting there with that baseball with the saddest little look on his face, like he wanted someone to play with him. But he wouldn't fetch a ball if his very life depended on it...Unless it was being carried by a squirrel.

October

Of all the great photos I could have chosen from this month, I chose this one that I took at my mother's house one Sunday afternoon because, Look!...Is that a hint of a smile? I think it is...It really is!

November

I got a lot of really good shots on this November day and shared many of them here. I shared a similar shot of Dracen and Brisco but not this particular one. There's just something extra special about a boy, a dog and the perfect fall day...

December

And finally, our 2011 Christmas tree in all her glory.

Thanks, 2011. You've been a good one.

And thanks to all of you who come here and read my words each week. This blogging thing would be a whole lot less fun without you.

See ya next year!

Cowboy Boots and Tutus

2011-12-28T11:45:00.001-05:00

I hope you all had a good Christmas. Apparently I'm still trying to recuperate since I just slept 'til 10:30. Dracen is still sleeping and Devin left yesterday morning on a youth retreat and won't return until sometime tomorrow.

Dracen, unbeknownst to us, set his alarm clock on Christmas Eve for 4:30 a.m. but was sleeping so hard that it woke us up before it did him. Charlie sprang from the bed to see what was the matter and to shut down the obnoxious blaring and was coming back to bed...

But I, of course, couldn't leave it alone since the worry wart in me was kicked into overdrive and I just had to go check to make sure he was still breathing since he clearly was not fazed by the ruckus. So I followed suit by springing from the bed and dashing across the hall where I blew past Charlie and flung my hand toward the sleeping boy's forehead and he stirred which meant he was indeed still breathing so I was relieved but also realized that...Oh crap! I'd done it now!

We tried to tiptoe back to bed in hopes that he would go back to sleep but no longer had we nestled back in to complete our long winter's nap when we heard the feet hit the floor. He was up and he was headed to his brother's room to wake him up too. I think I had had about two hours of sleep at this point but I got up to join them in the dead of dark as they checked out their Christmas loot.

Charlie soon followed. Devin was the first to go back to bed followed by Charlie, me and Li'l Bit. Dracen was not having any part of going back to bed so he and Brisco Darling settled in on the couch with the remote. He was in it for the long haul because he didn't finally settle down until nearly midnight on Christmas Day.

Yesterday it was just the two of us here since Devin had left for his trip and Charlie had gone back to work and somehow the t.v. ended up on a marathon of that show about extreme couponing which was stressing me out immensely so I suggested we go to a movie later, perhaps The Adventures of Tintin. We watched the trailer and I thought he'd be all over seeing it but he insisted we watch the trailer of the Chipmunks movie and he was sold.

"But...but...this one is about a boy and his dog and...and, pirate ships! Hadn't you rather see it?"

His response was, "I like bright movies."

And how could I argue with that? Alvin and the Chipwrecked Chipmunks it would be.

After Charlie got home, I told Dracen to go take a shower and get ready for the movie. He wore jeans, his new cowboys boots that Santa came through on, his new flannel shirt and was packing his survival tool and new iPod touch (that Santa also came through on) in his pockets. But one very important thing was missing...that pocket watch Santa brought (that Santa is a mighty good man). He had left it at his Momaw and Popaw's house the day before and informed me that we just had to go get it before the movie.

Of course we obliged because duh, everyone knows a cowboy boot wearing man must have a good pocket watch in order to go see a very bright film about singing chipmunks...

Everyone also knows that every good little Dachshund needs her very own dress complete with a pink tutu. Thanks, Santa! I know that one was for me. ;)

All I Want for Christmas...

2011-12-21T15:07:00.001-05:00

So I just cleaned out my linen closet and have determined that we are in serious need of some new towels. I don't think I've bought a new set in ten years or so with the exception of holiday hand towels. I apparently have some sort of fetish with those that I did not even know I had. Especially Halloween towels because I have a mile high stack of those as opposed to about three or four decent everyday ones. And I'm not sure what that says about me but I admit it's a little weird. Why did I think I needed a dozen Halloween towels?

Before that I finally got around to moving the dvd's into the entertainment center we've had for several weeks now. Oh yes, we are having tons of fun at my house today. Try not to hate.

In other news, progress reports came home from the middle school yesterday and let's just say I shouted and lectured so much that I wore myself flat out because I slept until 10:00 this morning. Could they not have waited until after the break? Because now I'm in a predicament. Do I lift the total lockdown for a couple of days in the spirit of Christmas or do I proceed with my "you're going to straighten up and fly right if it kills us both" wrath?

I have definitely come to the conclusion that it is harder to parent a middle schooler than it was to be one myself. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass and dear Lord, I hope it passes soon! I'm also hoping that Santa leaves a good dose of patience in my stocking. Which brings me to the subject of this post...

You know you're a mom when all you want for Christmas is...

~Lots and lots of patience.

~Noise cancelling headphones.

~For someone to clean something, anything, without you having to ask, beg or threaten.

~A day without bickering.

(I don't even remember what that's like).

~For homework to be done willingly without you having to ask, beg, or threaten.

~A day, hour, minute or second without worry.

~A fat free, calorie free, chocolate bar bigger than your head. (for those moments when deep breathing just doesn't cut it.)

~For both your children to appease you by smiling kindly and like they mean it for one little Christmas picture without you having to ask, beg or threaten.

~A manual from God himself explaining exactly what to do in each and every parenting challenge/situation that arises.

~A guarantee that your children will be kept safe for at least the next 90 years or so...

Would that be too much to ask?

*Post inspired by Mama Kat's Writing Prompt "You know you're a mother when..."

Friday Fragments...

2011-12-16T05:00:00.002-05:00

~My light-up reindeer did not manage to make it through hunting season this year. I noticed the buck was not lit up a few nights ago so Charlie brought him in, gave him a thorough examination and determined that his fuses were blown. We (and by we I mean Charlie) replaced the fuses only to have them blow again immediately. Turns out Buck's transformer had gone bad. Then last night we noticed that Mrs. Buck had gone dark and it seems as though she may just be in the same predicament. So unless someone can tell me how we can get our hands on two good reindeer transformers (without stealing them from a neighbor's yard), we may be needing the number of a good taxidermist.

~Dracen took it upon his eight year old self to go into my Amazon account and use the one click button to order me a Christmas present. It is an antique style phone (black with gold flowers on the side and a shiny brass receiver cradle) to replace the vintage rotary phone of mine that he pulled off the counter and broke. How do you get mad over something like that? I couldn't. I thanked him but gave him a little talking to about how he cannot order things by himself anymore. He had already had Charlie order me one gift he found online and it has managed to stay secret. I can't wait to see what it is... I love his thoughtful nature.
~Another Dracen story... He told me, just out of the blue, in the car the other day that he wants to have a summer wedding when he grows up so he can, you know, have it on the lake or something. Who knew little boys thought about their weddings?!

~I dropped my hand mirror on the tile floor Wednesday morning and it didn't so much as crack. Does this mean I have seven years of good luck ahead? :)

~I thought my jeans were getting a little snug so I broke down and got on the scales yesterday. Doing so crushed my dream that it was all the dryer's fault. I've gained back 3.5 of the 7 pounds I lost over the spring and summer. You'd be surprised how much of an effect 3.5 little pounds can have on a 5'4" frame. Ugh. Looks like I'm back to counting calories again. Bah, Humbug! Oh well...it was fun while it lasted, Nutella.

~I was out of Zyrtec D so I bought some at Target Wednesday. It seems the law has gotten even tougher because it nearly took an act of congress to get checked out. They took my prints, a blood sample, asked for my driver's license, birth certificate, passport, social security card, three references and my firstborn child. I hate that trying to get a little relief for my allergies now makes me feel like a murder suspect. Do I look like I have a meth lab in my basement?

~Did y'all see Barbara Walter's most fascinating people of the year show Wednesday night? It's the first time ever that the person of the year, Steve Jobs, died before she got a chance to interview him. His sister said that just before he left this earth his final words were, "Oh wow...Oh wow...Oh wow." Now if that doesn't make you a believer then I don't know what will.

**Joining in for another round of Friday Fragments over at Half Past Kissin' Time!

Happy Friday, Y'all!

Childhood Wishes...

2011-12-14T19:58:00.002-05:00

When I was a kid there was nothing much more exciting or magical than getting the Sears Christmas Wish Book in the mail. I would spend hours and hours poring through those catalog pages, dreaming and folding and circling and hoping and wishing and deciding which items I realistically thought I could get Santa to bring me each year...

And while Santa was always good to me and never left me empty-handed or in a state of disappointment, there were a few things I asked for or sometimes only secretly wished for (because I knew hell would have to freeze over first) that I never did get...

My own place. And by my own place, I mean my very own playhouse in the backyard. A place I could play with my dolls, read my books, listen to my records, play board games and just hang with my bff. You know? A little pink house...

A genie bottle/magical powers/magic wand! Maybe I watched too many old episodes of I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched but I had all sorts of plans for the day Santa finally delivered this one. I was going to rule the world. Or at least just marry Shaun Cassidy.

Miniature horse. I'm pretty sure this was one of those wishlist items I placed in the when hell freezes over category and never actually asked for but oh, how I wanted one! And I've never completely gotten over this one... The cuteness overwhelms me!

My own phone/private line in my room. Because what the heck was a cell phone or even a cordless phone? If you wanted phone privacy, you pulled that curly cord as far as you could, sneaked around the corner, and closed that door shut tight on that sucker. And if someone else was talking on the phone and there was something you just had to talk to your bestie about right that minute? You were just S.O.L!

Pink carpet. I had daydreams about pink carpet...

Persian or Siamese cat. While I've always been an animal of all kinds lover, when I was a kid I was obsessed with cats and while we did have a few when I was very young, once they were gone we never got another one. But I always wanted me a big ol' fluffy Persian or an exotic Siamese of my very own. I wonder what the Darling wieners would think of that? Hmm...

Swatch watch. I can't really say why it is I didn't get one of these because they were all the rage for a time in the 80s and I remember wanting one or two or three (to stack on my arm) pretty bad at one point. Maybe I had asked for a lot of other stuff from Santa that year or maybe I didn't realize I wanted it until after Christmas... Who knows? But I never had one...

A pool. Georgia summers were hot and running through the sprinklers just didn't satisfy our urge to get wet. And I'm sure this wasn't something I ever thought to ask Santa for in the month of December but it definitely stands out in my mind as something I always longed for. My best friend and I once had the genius idea to build one ourselves by stacking bricks along the edges of the patio. I don't think you have to ask how that turned out...

A puppy in my stocking. Some things never change!

Snow on Christmas Day. Living my entire life in the south, I never did get that one. Until last year... Last year, at the age of 39, that wish was finally delivered and I don't think it could have been any more magical had it happened thirty years earlier...

And to me, that is a perfect example of how the best, most cherished gifts of all are always those that no amount of money could ever buy...

Though I would jump for joy and shout with glee if I woke up Christmas morning to find one of those itty bitty horses in my backyard or another li'l wiener dog in my stocking...

I'm just sayin'.

*This post is part of Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losin' It.

Family Christmas Past

2011-12-13T18:32:00.002-05:00

Through the Years...

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given–when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.~ Joan Winmill Brown

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. ~Agnes M. Pahro

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness. ~Bob Hope

Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

Christmas – that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance – a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. ~ Augusta E. Rundel

Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most. ~ Ruth Carter Stapleton

Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words. ~ Harlan Miller

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~ Janice Maeditere

Christmas is the day that holds all time together. ~Alexander Smith

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney

At Christmas, all roads lead home. ~Marjorie Holmes

*Linking to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday's Letter F!

Outsmarted by a Dachshund...

2011-12-12T09:32:00.003-05:00

Dracen is asking for a little brother again. He's always been the little one trying to keep up with his big brother and cousin and older friends and while yes, he can be a little rambunctious at times, he does have a very nurturing nature and has always been drawn to babies. I've always said he missed his calling on being a big brother because I know he'd make a great one.

This is not the first time we've had this conversation and he knows that I can't have any more babies so last night he tried to find a way around this by saying, "I know you can't have another baby but couldn't we adopt one? Because I never got the chance to be a big brother."

Ouch. I almost cried.

I also began suspecting that many a third or fourth child was had for this very reason because talk about tugging on your heartstrings... This tugs on mine in a fierce way.

And I would probably have tried to oblige him by promising him another Dachshund but Brisco Darling has been a very bad little wiener this week in regards to hole digging, knocking over trash cans and doing his business in the house. Let's just say he's lucky that I'm a tenderhearted, animal loving, tree hugging Dachshund freak who tends to forget the unacceptable act he committed just as soon he rolls over on his back and pats his cute li'l freckled face with his paws.

Charlie wonders if getting a well-trained big dog would help him to learn right from wrong. But I know a thing or two about how Dachshunds operate and it's not that they don't know right from wrong, rather they just want to do things their way. And who can't relate to that?
Dachshunds are smart and here's one example of how I know this...

I give the Darlings one Greenie each every day. There are few things in this world Charlene (Li'l Bit) loves more than her daily Greenie. Brisco, on the other hand, could usually take it or leave it though usually he takes it and lays it down somewhere he can see it.

It took me awhile to catch on to what Li'l Bit was doing. She immediately takes her Greenie into the living room where she devours it in seconds. Brisco takes his into the sunroom, places it on the floor, gives it the nose tap on each end, breathes on it, leaves it on the floor, then jumps up in the chair to watch over it.

Li'l Bit knows this. She also knows that if she goes in to nab his Greenie, that he will jump down off his perch to stake claim over it if she even thinks about going near it. So here's the plan she concocted...

She scratches on the door to go outside knowing that Brisco can rarely resist the urge to go outside himself and that he will come running to go out too. And he does. But as soon as he gets out the door, she says, "Psych!" and instead of going outside, high tails it to the sunroom where she snatches the abandoned Greenie and begins consuming it at record speed.

Poor Brisco realizes what's happened before he ever gets off the deck and proceeds to bark loudly and angrily to get back in only to discover that it is too late. So what does the sucker (a.k.a. me) do? I give him another Greenie that he wastes no time chomping down this time.

I finally caught on to what was going on so this doesn't happen anymore. The sad thing is, she pulled it off several times before I realized what was going on...

Which is just one good reason why I should probably stick to the two kid, two dog rule for now.

Plus, Charlie's oldest son is getting married next year and we all know that babies come next... I'll have to point out to Dracen how fun it can be to be an uncle.

But wait? Wouldn't that kinda make me a gra...

Shut the front door!

Fancy Friday...Favorite Things!

2011-12-09T09:17:00.004-05:00

I realize I have not done a Fancy Friday post in awhile so in the spirit of the season, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things with y'all. Just don't go gettin' all crazy squealy on me because I'm no Oprah and will not be giving away an iPad or a car at the end of this post.

So if you're still with me, here we go...

Red Bird Necklace
Y'all know how I love my redbirds, right? I bought this necklace on etsy almost a year ago and it is still one of my very favorite things to wear around my neck. This seller has some other really cute stuff too!

Candlewick Bedspread
I do not have this but I came across it at Plow and Hearth when I was doing some online Christmas shopping. Call me old fashioned if you must, but I want one of these in a bad way...

Straight Sexy Hair Smooth & Seal

I don't know what I ever did before I discovered this stuff. Seriously. Nothing can tame my big hair frizz better than this. I spray a little on (sometimes a lot, when it's really humid) before I dry or straighten my hair and it works wonders!

Willow Tree Nativity Set
I showed a picture on here last year of my Willow Tree Nativity that is currently out on my mantle. I had always wanted a nativity set and when I saw this one years ago, I knew it was the one. Darin bought it for me that year and gave it to me on Christmas morning (the day before he left this earth). I did not have the stable for it, however, until last year when Charlie and the boys gave it to me for Christmas. It is near and dear to my heart...

Promise Cross
I've been eyeing this thing for a really, really long time. I don't know why I haven't broken down and bought it yet but I did give Charlie a few hints this year and this was one of them. So we'll see... ;)

Neutrogena Make-up Remover Towelettes
Again, this is one of those beauty products that makes me wonder what I did before I discovered... Went to bed without removing my make-up a lot of times, no doubt! These things are amazing. They even get the waterproof mascara off and I don't have to get my face all wet and wake myself completely up after I've been dozing on the couch before bedtime. Love them!

Elsie Boots by Arturo Chiang
If it is possible to be in love with a pair of boots then I am. With these. There is nothing I do not love about these boots and there was no breaking in time... Felt like I was walking on sunshine the first time I put them on my feet. These boots? Are my friends...

Freshwater Pearl Trinity Earrings
I don't have these but I do have a few things this talented etsy seller has made and I love them all! And she just happens to be my childhood best friend... I haven't seen her in more years than I can remember but keep up with her and all her many critters on good ol' facebook.

Dachshund Wine Company Giclee Print
I actually have this in my kitchen. I happened upon it at a HomeGoods about a year or more ago and felt like I had won the lottery! I saw it on etsy one day when I was surfing around. Oh, how I love etsy...

Maybelline Full 'N Soft Waterproof Mascara
This is the only mascara I use. And I've tried a lot of them over the years!

YoCrunch Fruit Parfaits
I eat these all the time. Blueberry is my favorite but the strawberry and peach are really good too!

Puma Soleil Sneakers
These are so cute and comfortable. Great for Pilates and perfect for Zumba because they are smooth on the bottom. I wear them to death! I should probably think about getting them in another color, I wear them so much...

Marraceck Curtains
I think I showed these curtains on here once but that was like a year ago, wasn't it? I just had to include them again here in my favorite things because although I fretted and sweated a bit before breaking down and spending the money for these at Anthro, I have not regretted it once. They are great quality and hang in my dining room. They were exactly what I was looking for when I didn't even know what I was looking for!

And here they are in my dining room...

Antiqued Wood Dachshund
This was another thing I stumbled upon recently while doing some online Christmas shopping. I don't have it but it was on the hint list I shared with Charlie. A rustic wood Dachshund? This is my taste in a nutshell!

Fetch a Passion Dog Tags
Another little gem I discovered on etsy. Since I'm pretty sure the Darlings do not know about this blog, I can share these with y'all. They are getting them for Christmas. They are currently in the mail so I don't have them yet but I saw this one and knew Brisco Darling had to have it because he is the Chief of the Squirrel Patrol! His name and info. will be on the back...

Charlene is getting this one though of course it will say "Charlene" and not "Sugar" though there was a little Dachshund named Sugar in our lives for a very long time who belonged to my inlaws Bob and Pat. She was going on 17 when she died in 2009.

La Mer Wrap Watches
I know I've shown y'all these watches before but I could not do a Favorite Things post without including this. Apparently I am not the only one who loves them because I've gotten more comments/compliments on mine than anything I've ever owned. I'm not even a big watch person normally but I love this thing!

And I'm sure I could go on and on with this post but none of us have all day so I will leave it here. I know y'all probably thought I was going to include Nutella and I thought about it, I really did. But I want you to know that I went to the grocery store yesterday and did not buy a jar. I'm quite proud of that accomplishment!

Happy Friday, Y'all!

Got Elf?

2011-12-07T19:48:00.003-05:00

I've been collecting ornaments for years. It is one of the few things in life I have managed to be diligent about and have been for the past seventeen years now. Every year I get my little Hallmark critter with the year (though the series is currently in the snowman decade) and my Hallmark bird of the year...

Then of course there's the Danbury Mint bird I've gotten every year since 2004...

And this year when I went into Hallmark, I noticed they had started a new series of whimsical little birds so the crazy bird lady in me had to start that one too. (Clearly, I have a problem!)...

A few years back I started trying to get an ornament at every new place I visited. I really wish I had thought of this idea sooner. I bought a few of those at the places we visited this year. This one is from Maine....It's the little restaurant on the water in downtown Camden that we ate lunch at one day...

But none of them can put a smile on my face like my happy little smiling elves.

I.love.me.some.elves!

My mother-in-law, Pat (Darin's mom), has a collection of these little guys that she's had for forever and ever amen and once Darin moved out on his own, he would go over for a visit when the elves were out at Christmastime and kidnap them when she wasn't looking.

I still have two of those old vintage guys, one of whom appears to be staying together by the support of a single forty plus year old thread. He's got an unfortunate case of the old elf wobbles. And the other one is not in much better shape himself. Bless their little hearts!

Yes, Pat knows I still have them. She allows them to live here. She even bought me a new one several years back. And last year? I scored me some brand spankin' new pointy shoe wearin' dudes to keep them all company and scattered them out around the house...

And two more again this year...

I am on an elf roll!

But this year I put them all together, way up high atop the entertainment center so they can keep watch over the boys and the wiener dogs and tell me all about every teeny, tiny, sneaky little thing they do or trick they try to play.

Muahaha!

I think Mr. Jolly Green Leprechaun on the left there looks like he's throwing back an invisible mug o' ale!

The following two are the newbies I scored at Michael's this year. I really wanted to take every single one of them home but I do have a little 'elf-control. It was hard though, y'all! Oh, so hard!

There's one of the ancient wobbly heads there with the green and white stockings and Pinocchio nose. I just love that little old elf man!

This one's just flat out showing off.

Hope y'all enjoyed my little elves as much as I do...

And if anybody knows of any who are looking for a good home, please send them my way! ;)

**This post inspired by Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday's Letter E and Mama Kat's writing prompt, 1.) Have you decorated your Christmas tree? Share a favorite Christmas ornament.

Wordless Wednesday...The Mighty Hunter

2011-12-07T07:17:00.003-05:00

Shh! Be vewy, vewy, quiet...

Linking up with Parenting By Dummies, Live and Love...Out Loud and Project Alicia.

It's My SITS Day!

2011-12-06T03:00:00.002-05:00

What is SITS? It's a group of 10,000 women bloggers supporting one another with lots and lots of comment love. And today I'm being featured. Yes, me!...Little ol' me!

If this is your first time here, welcome and thank you so much for stopping by!

I began this blog back in March of 2010, completely on a whim. I had no idea what I was doing or if anyone would ever really read my words but I just kept hearing a whisper from God telling me to share my story of loss, battle with grief, journey in healing, and rebuilding of life.

And although I do still blog about my experience with that horrible monster of grief from time to time, this has mostly become a place for me to just be me and to share the moments that make life beautiful, messy, frustrating, or just downright hilarious.

I should tell you right up front that I talk about my adopted wiener dogs a little too much, have been known to cry over the death of a fish, say y'all more than I probably should and definitely overuse the ellipsis [...]. I can't help it. It's just who I am...

I suppose you could say

I'm sentimental and sappy

But my nature and my spirit

are always drawn to happy

I know that life can be hard

and is almost never fair

But laughter's a great healer...

By that one, I will swear

Laughter, plus an outlet...

The thing that makes you tick

You know it when you find it

For me, it was hearing the keys click

The thoughts, the feelings, the pain

that seemed to free me as they came,

appearing as tangible...as real

as the letters in my name

Everyone has a story inside them...

This is where I share mine

And y'all are more than welcome to join me

as I dot dot dot every other line!

Thanks for visiting and have a wonderful day! :)

Friday Fragments

2011-12-02T07:46:00.001-05:00

~Dracen said he wanted a pair of cowboy boots for Christmas. I said, "I wonder what size you'd need in cowboy boots"? He replied, "Santa will know...If he's really magic."

~He also wanted to know why the foster child I picked the angel off the angel tree to buy a gift for didn't get stuff from Santa. I tried to think of a good answer but I mostly stumbled around my words.

~I bought the big size jar of Nutella yesterday at the grocery store. Seriously? I need an intervention!

~We are going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tomorrow in Greenville, SC. I'm excited since I've never seen them before!

~Does anyone know where I can buy a trash can for my kitchen that is Dachshund proof? Because Brisco Darling can't seem to keep his nose out of the one I've got! He knocked it over again twice yesterday. I also caught him digging at the end of the house after he pawed the plastic drain pipe apart from the gutters. He apparently doesn't believe the elves are watching.

~Devin had somehow managed to break his big binder for school in half and had been carrying it around like that, with no cover. I finally remembered to buy him a new one this week and he didn't want it. I had to force him to put his stuff in it. Then a girl at school took a pink paint maker and wrote his name in ginormous letters across the front with the little breast cancer awareness ribbon at the bottom (which I thought was a nice touch). He said, "I need a new binder! I cannot carry this thing around like this! " I told him to either get over it or get creative and cover it up somehow.

~Dracen made a little drawing at school of these little houses with faces on them and called it "The People House Town." Charlie and I thought it was really creative and said he should take it further and submit it to Disney or Nickelodeon because it's a lot better than some of that stuff they put on t.v. Charlie continued to encourage him, telling him how if it was a hit, he could eventually sell it to them for big bucks. He said he would never do that. Spoken like a true artist! "Never sell out out to the man!"

~I'm getting my "hair did" at 8:30 this morning so I must sign off!

Happy Friday, Y'all! :)

**Linking to Friday Fragments at Half-Past Kissin' Time.

Five Things...

2011-11-30T20:25:00.003-05:00

Five Things You May Not Know About Me...

1. My hair fell out when I was a baby and it didn't grow back until I was almost two years old. My parents and grandmother got really tired of people calling me a boy... Apparently they did so even when I was wearing a dress!

It was starting to come back in here. I now have a head full of very thick hair though my dad, on the other hand, went in the opposite direction...

2. I have Thalassemia Minor that I did not find out I had until I was pregnant with my second baby. I was always told I was iron deficient when that was not the case. I'm basically a carrier of Thalassemia, a blood disorder that is life threatening if you actually have the Major version. Turns out my dad has it too and so do both my boys. About half of our red blood cells are normal and the other half are abnormal. Physical endurance can be challenging.

3. I didn't go to kindergarten because I was so shy and it was optional back then.

4. Anytime I have to have more than a vial or two of blood drawn, I get very lightheaded, begin to hear ringing in my ears and come within an inch of passing out though I have never actually gone through with it...the passing out, I mean.

5. I have two creases where my arm bends. Well, there's the one where it bends like everyone else has but then there is an extra one below it. I had never met anyone else who has this extra crease until Dracen came along. He has it too though his is not as defined.

Five Things I'm Knowledgeable About...

1. Dachshunds. Surprise! There's not much I don't know about those beloved little long dogs.

2. Arranging flowers. I was, after all, a florist for four years and it's just one of those things that came easy and has stuck with me.

3. Movies from the late 80s/early 90s. There are very few of them I have not seen and I have been known to quote lines from many of them at random.

4. Online dating. I had it down to a science when I met Charlie.

5. The stages of grief.

Five Things I Know Nothing About...

1. Operating heavy machinery. I mean, you know, other than a car.

2. How it feels to get all pumped up about watching a football game on t.v.... or a basketball game, or a hockey game or any other kind of game, aside from baseball. I did go through an obsessive stage about the Atlanta Braves one summer when I was a kid but it mainly had to do with a major crush on one of the players.

3. Why all boys and men too (though they don't all admit it) love to pee outside so much. I just don't get it and am quite sure I never will.

4. Faking it. I've never been good at hiding my feelings or pretending everything is perfectly fine when it's perfectly not.

5. Rocket science.

Five Things I Believe...

1. That words can be powerful but actions speak volumes.

2. Life is comprised of a little bit of luck and a whole lot of what you choose to do with it.

3. Gaining knowledge of something is the best way to conquer a fear of it.

4. Worrying will get you nowhere but it is pretty near impossible to stop, especially after you become a mother.

5. All dogs go to heaven. :)

Got this idea from the Writer's Workshop at Mama' Losin It!
Also linking to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday!

Heroes Don't Always Wear Capes

2011-11-29T17:17:00.001-05:00

Most of us learn the word "hero" at a very young age. When I was a little girl I thought of a hero as someone who wore a cape and saved the day with the help of such things as magical swords and golden lassos. Yes, I was a huge Wonder Woman fan and I had the Underoos to prove it.

Later on I began to think of a hero as someone who put his or her life at risk for a living and for the sake of making the world a safer place. A hero was the fireman rescuing a complete stranger from a burning building, the police officer fighting to keep crime off the streets, the soldier serving his/her country and the surgeon saving a life with highly skilled and capable hands.

And while yes, I still agree (and who doesn't?) that all those people are heroes, I also know now that heroes come in many forms and I have been blessed with many in my life...

A Hero Is...

The mother who sacrifices her own needs over and over again so that her children will have a better, easier life than she had.

The father who vows to always tell his children he loves them and to never forget to call and send cards every single year on their birthdays.

The woman who welcomes her new husband's young daughter into her heart, home and arms and loves her as her own.

The woman who has to bury her youngest son, as no mother should ever have to do, yet still manages to get out of bed every day, put one foot in front of the other just as she always has and to make helping her son's widow and young children her number one priority.

The man who starts over in life not only by marrying a widow with two young sons but by also forming strong bonds with the parents and extended family members of her late husband.

The small town man who has to bury his youngest son, as no father should ever have to do, yet goes on to open his mind and his home to the stranger his daughter-in-law eventually meets and grows so fond of.

The divorced man with no children of his own who steps in and becomes like a favorite uncle to the young sons of the best friend he just lost.

A hero is the person who, no matter what harsh realities life has dealt him/her continues to press on...to carry out each day in an ever-changing world that is so full of unpredictable, terrifying possibilities...

A hero is the friend who is always there just when you need her most, the father who tries his best to never miss a game or awards ceremony, the single mother raising her kids on her own, the man who works his hardest every single day at a job he doesn't even like in order to support his family, the teacher who truly cares and is passionate about teaching and making a difference in the life of each and every child in her classroom, the woman living with a chronic illness/disability who still manages to smile and spread optimism and encouragement everywhere she goes, the man who volunteers his time at the soup kitchen, the woman who rescues dogs...

Unsung heroes are everywhere and I'm guessing chances are pretty good that you are most likely somebody's hero yourself. So thank you.

Thank you for being you.

This, That and The Other...

2011-11-25T12:26:00.002-05:00

On the news last night they showed a nearby Best Buy parking lot where several insane people had been lined up down the sidewalk since yesterday morning (and some apparently since Tuesday!) awaiting the store to open last night at midnight. A few had even pitched their tents. Is that even legal? They were all after that t.v. advertised for $199. All I can say is, I'd hate to have been there when they ran out.

I would not go out into that mob of blood thirsty bargain hunters if I was guaranteed a free t.v.. I prefer to do the majority of my Christmas shopping with the click of a tiny mouse while enjoying my amaretto flavored Folgers in my pajamas, complete with bare feet, bedhead, and a couple of lazy Dachshunds by my side.

And speaking of the lazy Dachshunds, at least one of them...ahem...Brisco Darling!...was a very bad little wiener while we were away for Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. Turns out he somehow got the memo about Thanksgiving being a day for getting your gluttony on because he managed to get into the cabinet and drag the trash can out from under the kitchen sink and proceed to feast on a buttload of old leftover chicken breasts and boneless pork chops that Charlie threw away yesterday morning.

I told him he was a very bad little wiener so he rolled over onto his back and gave me his best "I'm so sorry" look with his belly bulging on both sides and resembling a prized cantaloupe. And then he politely put himself to bed at 9pm.

I, on the other hand, have succeeded at making it through two Thanksgiving get-togethers while only eating one piece of dessert, key lime pie. If I ever turn down a piece of key lime pie, call 911 because I'm either deathly ill or my body has been taken over by an alien life form. It just doesn't happen.

I'm quite sure, however, that I more than made up for the calories I didn't consume in pie by inhaling countless spoonfuls of Nutella that I've been sneaking out of the kitchen cabinet for the past week. I had somehow managed, in my forty years of life, to escape the highly addictive, mouth watering, magical deliciousness that is Nutella.

I blame Pinterest. For all those seductive Nutella-containing recipes.

And the grocery store. For putting it right there beside the peanut butter.

Because I am now in need of a good Nutella Rehab. So if you know of one, please send me their contact information asap.

In other Thanksgiving news, the boys left out last night for a two day hunting trip with their popaw, uncle, and cousin. They had asked yesterday morning if they could take their BB guns with them to which we reluctantly said yes to. But we promptly changed that to a no after I was popped in the mouth by a Nerf dart while minding my own business in Charlie's dad's living room yesterday afternoon.

I shouted out, "I WILL KILL YOU!" before I even realized what or whom had shot me. Not my proudest mom moment but what can I say? It just came out.

The guilty party aka the Dracenator/Idea Man began apologizing profusely and nearly had a complete meltdown once we informed him that he would not be taking his BB gun along on his hunting trip. He insisted that he really only meant to shoot Charlie in the shoulder and instead accidentally hit me in the mouth. And I explained to hit what would happen if he were to "accidentally" pop someone in the eye with his BB gun. At the threat of not going on the trip at all, he reluctantly sucked it up and piped down.

And before I go, I must share this story told by my mother-in-law Wednesday night about a customer complaint she received back when she worked in the Sears and Roebuck customer service department back in the 70s...

She politely answered the phone when she was blasted by a man shouting that he had a new baby who would NOT, for the love of God, STOP crying, that he had been up ALL night long, had missed his ever-lovin' plane and that THAT G.D. PILSBURY DOUGHBOY HAD EXPLODED AND COOKED ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF THEIR NEW REFRIGERATOR THAT WAS AS HOT AS AN OVEN AND THAT HE WANTED SOMEBODY OUT THERE ASAP!!!!

Turns out the compressor on the refrigerator had been installed backwards and it was cooking their food. I did not even know that was possible. She and two other employees ended up going out to the house where she was put in charge of watching the baby that wouldn't stop crying while the mess was cleaned up, the refrigerator was fixed and the wife went grocery shopping.

Now THAT is what I call customer service! Too bad it doesn't exist in the world still today....

Now if y'all will excuse me, I probably should think about getting dressed since it is now noon and I'm still sitting here in my pajamas beside the bad little dumpster diving wiener dog who is now producing some extremely foul smelling gas!

But at least I'm not at Wal-mart...

Thanksgiving Funnies...

2011-11-23T07:30:00.003-05:00

Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?

'Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~Erma Bombeck

The Turkey Popped Out of the Oven
The Turkey popped out of the oven
and rocketed in to the air;
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom,
Then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
There was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there had never been turkey before..
It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl;
There wasn't a way I could stop it;
that turkey was out of control.
I scraped and I scraped with displeasure
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
That I would never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

written by Jack Prelutsky

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants! ~Kevin James

Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.~Michael Dresser

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all!

Rant Ahead...Proceed with Caution!

2011-11-22T11:00:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was one of those days that made me want to whup up on somebody...

I got a call last week from the company who was supposed to deliver our new entertainment center. She first gave me a time frame for Monday morning between eight and twelve, which was fine by me. Then she called me back the next day and said it looked as if it was going to be more like three to five. I told her that would probably be fine but that I had to pick up four kids at two different schools from two to three twenty-ish. She then told me it would most likely be closer to five since we were last on the list.

Charlie also arranged to be home before three so that we could move things out of the way first and just because I typically do not deal well with the incompetence I have found that most of these home delivery/service people tend to possess. Not all, mind you, but most that I have personally come in contact with. I almost lost my mind on the guy who came out to set up our Direct TV after we moved into this house and it's just really safer for all involved if someone else is here, if at all possible.

Well, I was enjoying my first thirty minute break at home yesterday, the one after my class at the gym but before my first school pickup when the phone rang. It was a guy from the delivery company, who by the way did not speak very good English, telling me he'd be there in about fifteen to twenty minutes, which would be two o'clock and five minutes before I had to leave for the school! And, which I pointed out to him, was a whole hour earlier than the start of the two hour time frame I was given.

He, the best I could tell through his limited English, really did not give a flying flip and was not going to work with me at all. And this was where I had to dig down deep in my soul and muster up every bit of strength I had to bite my tongue and swallow my words.

'Cause I was straight up pissed.

I called Charlie up and informed him of the situation. He told me he was already on his way home and wanted the number of the man with little English to see what he could do. Which was pretty much nothing because Mr. "I don't give a flip" said he was only a helper and eluded that he pretty much just wanted to be done for the day and that they were headed back to the shop. And nobody ever returned the message he left at the office. Until this morning when I got a call asking if tomorrow morning was good. And there was really no apology.

What.tha.****?!

And to top all that off, it was time for two week progress reports at the middle school, which really did not go well. Also, I knew it should be about time for his school pictures to be in. I blogged last month how he didn't bring his form home but I knew it was picture day thanks to the school page on facebook. So I gave him a check that morning for the same amount Dracen's package was at the elementary school because it was the same company, told him to fill out the form for that package, put the check in there, hand it to the photographer and to smile.

He told me he did.

So yesterday I asked him once again if his pictures were in since Dracen's were in a week ago and he said to me, "They gave me this paper with a proof on it where you can order them but everybody else got pictures so I don't know."

It was a "LAST CHANCE to order pictures" form with a mug shot of a scowling boy who resembled my oldest son with the word "PROOF" stamped across his face.

"What happened, Devin? Did you not fill out the form and give them the check!?" I barked. He assured me he did so I went online to check my bank statement and while Dracen's had cleared, his had not. Somehow I felt that I'd been hoo-dooed and I was not seeing the humor in it. At all! I have the sneaking suspicion that my check ended up in the trash can or crinkled up on the bottom of a middle school locker.

So much for having a school pic to document each year of K thru 12!

I am sure that someday, in the very distant future, we will look back on these days and laugh.

But right now I'm still feeling a little like this...

Good thing I have yoga today!

Weekend Highlights...

2011-11-21T08:54:00.002-05:00

Friday night we watched the new Arthur. I didn't expect it to be as good as the first one with Dudley Moore and in my opinion it was not, but it was entertaining enough. I was just confused about Hobson being a female nanny because seems I recall he was a male butler in the original. And as I was typing that I suddenly recalled some sort of dream I had last night about the Batmobile that Arthur kept drunk driving around town in. I'm just thankful Russell Brand was not in the dream because that would disturb me greatly.

Saturday afternoon I met my longtime best friend, Michelle, for lunch and shopping and we both agreed that we need to get our act together and plan to do that sort of thing more often since we only live an hour's drive from each other. Because at the rate we've been going, you'd think there was an ocean between us.

Don't you just love the comfort of being in the presence of an old friend though? We've been friends for twenty five years now and although we've been a couple of slackers about getting together for the past couple of years, it's always as if no time has passed at all when we do. There are never any awkward getting reacquainted moments or uncomfortable silences.

One minute we are talking about our kids and the next minute we are somehow on the subject of the double date we went on with the likes of Beavis and Butt-head back when we were fifteen, which was way before those characters ever showed up on our t.v. screens. And since I try to keep this blog here PG, I won't go into any details but let's just say that it could not have gone any worse had we gone on a double date with the actual Beavis and Butt-head. The memory never ceases to make me laugh all these years later so it wasn't a total waste of our fifteen year old time and energy.

Which reminds me of the leaf-blowing Charlie said he allowed Dracen to do Saturday. He proclaimed it Leaf Getting-Up Day for the three of them and although they weren't exactly thrilled about the idea, their ears perked up when they found out they could get paid for the sincerity of their efforts.

Dracen weighs all of 60 pounds soaking wet yet he insisted he be allowed to work the leaf blower too and according to Charlie he stuck his lip out, turned his palm over and up in his but...but.. life is so unfair! pose, proclaimed that he was just as capable as his big brother, then crossed his arms over his chest and plopped his butt down until he was allowed to prove himself worthy.

I just wish Charlie had gotten a picture because the description he gave of him blowing the same ten leaves around the driveway for twenty minutes with that big leaf blower strapped on his back and hanging down past his knees is a sight I truly hate I missed. Being the little brother does have its advantages because if there's one thing that boy is, it's determined. He believes there is nothing in this world his big brother can do that he can't.

Yesterday morning at church he finally got the opportunity to take over a duty that his brother recently let go of by being an acolyte for the very first time. I think Charlie said it best when he said, "He actually got the chance to play with fire without someone telling him No."

And I guess when you think about it, life just doesn't get much better than that.

Where the Green Grass Grows...

2011-11-18T09:56:00.003-05:00

Since his cell phone and iPad privileges have been temporarily suspended for the past couple of days for his behavior in Language Arts, we've been seeing a lot more of Devin. It's like I have my other son back! I watched from the sunroom windows yesterday afternoon as he and and his little brother wrestled on the trampoline, fully expecting a fight to break out any minute when someone was accidentally hurt.

But it never happened.

They just kept wrestling, laughing, and being boys until they finally came inside where Dracen tried to convince me he had frost bite. And I tried to convince him that while I didn't doubt his feet were really cold, he did not have frost bite because it was 48 degrees outside. Which by the way, is entirely too cold for these parts this time of year. And it is in the 20s this morning! Brr.

After supper last night we all played a game of Yahtzee. That I won. Woot! But just for the record, I would never actually say "Woot" out loud. And later, when Charlie and I were watching t.v. in the living room, we were ambushed by a couple of ninjas who both could benefit from a lesson in stealthiness, especially the little one.

It reminded us of the good ol' days, back when it was a pretty common thing to see two boys whiz by you in full costume.

Then Devin "hid" under the bed as I read to Dracen at bedtime. As if I didn't know he was under there. Will they ever learn to stop underestimating my super intuitive mom powers? After the battle of getting the Idea Man (Charlie's new nickname for Dracen) tucked cozily into his bed for the night, Devin actually sat with us in the living room until his bedtime. I swear I may never give his stuff back!

Because it is really nice to have him back.

I've been feeling lately like it's all just happening too fast...like time is getting by me and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I catch myself thinking about how Devin will have his driver's license in just four years and how Dracen (my baby!) will be in middle school when that happens and I just want to shout to the heavens, "Slow Down! Pleeease! Just Slow Down!"

But that is the one thing none of us have ever figured out how to do, isn't it? To slow down time.

When we're younger we just can't seem to get it to go by fast enough as we continually anticipate and count down the days until we can get our license, graduate high school, finish college, land our dream job, get married, have kids, struggle as we try to figure out how to get through the cruelties and storms that life deals us and to just.be.happy.

I used to be one of those people who always saw the grass as being so much greener on the other side of that fence but I know now that I wouldn't want any other grass than that which God has so graciously given me.

Because it's my grass.

And while I sometimes wish I could keep it just the way it is right now, before the changing seasons alter it once again, I know that I can't do that. Not even with my super intuitive mom powers. So instead I'm going to keep nurturing it, appreciating it and loving it for what it is right now because I know that it will change again tomorrow.

But I also know that no matter what, it will always be the greenest grass I know.

My Biggest Parenting Challenge

2011-11-16T16:25:00.003-05:00

I was always the shy, quiet girl who went out of my way to avoid drawing attention to myself in school. I was bewildered by the class clown type, even when I secretly found their antics hysterical, because that personality was so very different from my own. I just could not fathom possessing that kind of carefree gumption.

And really, I am still that way. I go out of my way to avoid uncomfortable situations and confrontations. I recently read an article in which someone referred to herself as "conversationally challenged" and the words leapt off the page at me. Because that? Is so me.

Conversationally challenged is exactly what I am. I stumble over my words, if I can find them at all, and end up walking away or hanging up the phone shaking my head and feeling completely frustrated because I know I did not say what I felt, thought and intended to say.

And I had one of those moments this afternoon when I got a call from a teacher (the third time I have heard from this teacher this year) informing me, yet again, that my son is still being unruly and disruptive in her class. That she finds it disrespectful. And that she wants it to stop.

It felt like an attack on me and my parenting skills and I wanted to shout, "You and me both, girlfriend! You and me, both!" But of course I didn't. Instead I asked her what exactly he was doing to which she replied "just constantly giggling, cutting up and talking amongst his friends." I apologized three times and told her we had talked and talked to him about this and thought we had the problem solved and that we will deal with it.

Then I hung up the phone, threw a few four letter words around and sent Charlie a message pretty much stating that I was at my wit's end and did not know what else to do aside from going to the darn (only this wasn't the exact adjective I used) school and sitting right beside him in that class every day. And we agreed to crack down harder. Take away ALL the privileges this time!

I have to say that above all the challenges parenting has brought me thus far (even the constant bickering between them and the endless lobbying to wear shorts in the dead of winter) THIS is the hardest.

The direct reflection I feel that my children are of myself.

Although they are each their own persons with their own wills and personalities, I feel personally responsible for each and every move they make and action they take even when I am not with them. Especially when I am not with them.

And although I am a little ashamed to admit this, the bottom line is that when they act bad...I look bad. Or at least it feels that way. And who likes to look bad? Not me!

I did not expect to feel this way before I became a parent. Nobody wrote that down as advice at my baby shower, not a one of those "what to expect" parenting books devoted a chapter to it and my mother didn't warn me about it.

I expected the sleepless nights, the messes, the occasional defiance, and even the worry. But the one challenge I never saw coming was this one...The unsuspecting way I could be right in the middle of an otherwise perfectly fine day and have someone jerk a knot in my tail, pee in my corn flakes, or eat my bowl of sunshine all up with one little phone call, note or email informing me that my kid...mine...was being anything less than perfect.

And the fact that the quietest of quiet girls in the class grew up to be the mother of the class clown is just further proof that God? Has a wicked sense of humor!

**This post inspired by Mama Kat's writing prompt, "Your biggest parenting challenge and/or joy" and Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday's Letter C.

It's Okay!

2011-11-15T08:35:00.002-05:00

Hey, It's Okay...

~To have gone nearly a week without writing a new post simply because you couldn't think of anything to say even though you have a million thoughts running through your mind pretty much every minute of every day.

~To be annoyed when a Jehovah's witness shows up at your door but to also think, "Man this lady has some ~~balls~~ guts behind her passion!"

~To have still not finished painting the bonus room you started on Saturday because you ran out of steam at five o'clock and haven't yet had the motivation to get back into it.

~To be a little sad that the Betta fish (that was supposed to belong to your son but would have died two years ago had you not stepped in to take care of it) died last night and is currently awaiting burial in a cardboard jewelry box because you are such a sentimental sap that you always bury the fish, hermit crabs and whatever other kind of creature dies or is found dead in your presence.

~To still have sore calves from going up and down the stairs to the bonus room so many times on Saturday. Apparently those muscles don't get much attention in Pilates and Zumba.

~To be more than a little sick of the sound of your neighbor's leaf blower.

~To not be able to watch Sister Wives without wishing one of the wives would break bad and demand monogamy.

~To think it's nuts that the town's Christmas decorations were put up the week after Halloween.

~To like Adele even more after finding out she has a Dachshund named Louie.

~To think this is hilarious because you.can.relate!...

*If you need more okayness, go visit Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry!

In My Own Backyard...

2011-11-09T16:19:00.005-05:00

The weather has been so beautiful here this week with high temps around 70, bright blue skies and glorious colors all around. Monday afternoon I stepped out into the backyard with Dracen, the Darlings, and the Canon and tried my best to digitally capture some of that beauty.

Close up of the leaves from a small Maple tree in the backyard...

View from the sunroom...

One of the many big, beautiful oaks that surround us on all sides...

The Darlings in action...

Weathervane atop the well house...

We threw some old squash out over the fence several weeks back and ended up with several gourds that made their way into my dining room to join the others I had already bought since I had no idea I was growing my own...

My knockout rose bush out front is still in full bloom. If you look through the dining room window you can see it. I love eating in there and admiring it. This old dough bowl belonged to my great-great grandmother. I filled it with a few of my...ahem...many wine corks and some leaves Dracen picked up a couple of weeks ago...

And speaking of Dracen, here he is making his best shot from the trampoline...

Have you ever seen a bluer sky?

Another shot of the maple tree...

This picture reminds me of the motto of the preschool both boys attended, "Mighty oaks from little acorns grow!"...

This holly bush grows just outside my bedroom window. I love the look of the red berries against the orange and yellow leaves...

I'm not sure who's advising whom here but I think this is a frame worthy shot...

I love the speckles on this majestic canopy of leaves...

Kicking up some leaves with sock feet and little paws...

This shot was taken from the front yard. It's not often I find myself with the camera in hand at the exact same moment heaven is shining its light down like this. I've always found that so magical. It takes my breath away...

Thanks for joining me for this glimpse of how fall shows out for us here in my little neck of the woods. I hope it puts on a good show in your neck of the woods too!

**This post inspired by Mama Kat's writing prompt, "Fall in your neighborhood! Share some Fall pictures that capture the season in your neck of the woods." and Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday's Letter B.